среда, 09 июля 2014
09:48

~don`t worry, i can fix that, too.(c)

be bad, be mine.
the day before we passed through Tanabata.
that wonderful bridge, where the two have been meeting
over and over again, as the thousands of years wore off..
and i came to a very simple point, where i want nothing.
i have everything. i turned 24 two weeks before. yes, i am.

now it is Wednesday. it is always a day off.
i am drinking what is left of my rose 1861 Freixenet.
eating Lindt chocolate and trying to make my breakfast
from a サーモン。because no matter where you go, surely.
it is always salmon.

i am so deep into cars, dreaming about my new Jaguar.
i am so much into flirting through my work day. oh, night.
i am so loving jasmine tea to relax my stress.

everything is steady,
everyone is where i want them to be.

and when you are told that you can not hold ten treads, pass.
because you can hold another hundred.

maybe, love is a seesaw game.
maybe, i am desperately wretched.
maybe, we both are one of a kind.

i read Remarque on the bus, i love to talk the war so much.
am i the latest in your art of war?.. that song on the early train
can ring in my head anytime now, i remember every step of us.

i am 24.
i have 99 problems and they are all non-trivial.
i got myself crown, a lot of money and you.)

what else could i crave, lover?..

@темы: refined cruelty, aiseru, dreams, we're dreaming, our morbidly pleasant place, house at the end of the world, your art of war

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понедельник, 16 июня 2014
11:03

.

be bad, be mine.
when you are younger, everything seems quite different.
every new book feels like the most interesting one in the world.
every new lover is like a promise to the eternal and great love..)
but then you age, you graduate, you pass on to something new.
new books, new lovers, new things. and that is not a bad thing.

i can express myself as someone, who usually shelve.
putting everything in order as in a bookstore inside myself.
i probably remember every book that i have read and every
affection (volitional or not) that i used to somehow attach.

sometimes when it rains,
i like to take my coffee with cinnamon and reflect.
some memories are the nicest ones and some old
books are so tremendously touching to return to.

never go back to your old lovers, when it is done.
but you can always go and breathe the book all over again.

people say, i tend to forget. i never forget.
that is why when everything is done and pages are turned over,
it keeps on going somewhere on the sidelines. continuing..

people say, i am not from the good ones. and maybe i am not.
but i keep my memories with me, i shelve them on the order,
i keep them dearly.

and tomorrow there is going to be a new day, again.

@темы: transparent poison, northern lights, embracing the heart

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пятница, 13 июня 2014
10:10

~.

be bad, be mine.
If all we've got is you and me,
then what we've got is all we need.

ain`t need another kingdom.
just keep writing my favorite cards.

@темы: refined cruelty, aiseru, in all its grandeur

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среда, 11 июня 2014
09:35

~水曜日の休み、あなたが好き。

be bad, be mine.
the season of rains is going on and on..
and, to be honest, i adore this definite rainy mood.
when you can wake up lately and it is already eleven on clock.
the body beside you is so much warm and yet easy to embrace.
you can not decide how to choose between luxury and simplicity.
to go meet roses, climb the fresh mountains or dive through the sea.
and you ain`t need to be like the roses. no.

the birthday is closing, already made all the preparations.
kindly and profoundly ravished all the stuff to make it perfect.
now i can breathe and re-do my nails, Bali evening and facial.
...
it is hard to be lovers, but it is harder to be friends.
however, i do believe in the truth, that for any reasons,
good lovers should never work together for any means.

because human nature is damned.
it will always try to put the heart instead of the rational.
and i would hate to put a fight over the lesser subjects.
of how to organize things, papers, subjects and goals.
and i would hate to be framed also. i would never neglect
the fact that during my duties i have to look at my lovers
and think of them in the framing of how they do their work.

because i use to fail. and i am good at my job.
i do not like to fail and admit the fact that i do.
you can either match as co-workers or in bed.

at least, me do.
...
but that is sidelines.
there is nothing i can not do and i still have my Jal.
with balance of at least 600000 to spend as i choose.

what of the heart matters, they always dwell.
i sip my happiness, i can not remember all their names.)

@темы: black swans, in all its grandeur, dreams, we're dreaming, our morbidly pleasant place, house at the end of the world

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понедельник, 19 мая 2014
16:09

~Gina works the diner all day, working for her men.(c)

be bad, be mine.
i can not probably express in words,
how wonderful sometimes are the holidays for yourself only.
to start the nicest day with a cup of great morning arabica shot,
heading to the dentist and shiny 吉祥寺。spend the day there.
do your nails in some gently amazing pink, wandering through
表参道, visiting through your favorite oriental salons in between.
(thinking about adding one more to my favorite double for balance)
do your hair in some inspiring red-head brown with passion and.
in your favorite salon where there are no stylists, but your favorite men.
(would have never trusted my hair, teeth and health to a woman.)

do some shopping for relaxation,
that longed long enough olive treatment, some new clothes (a lot).
get to the point where your card is maxed out and you forgot another.

wander again with bagels and coffee in your hands.
wander more.

and there is no one needed, except myself.
no one can entertain me better than i actually am.

need no lovers, adventures and sadness.
no matter how i love them, i would always love me more.

and that is so much perfect. amazing day, amazing evening.
(FB keeps telling me, that starting morning from sex is a key.)
nevertheless.

i adore watching people in the train, wearing suits.
because it is Monday and i am free.

@темы: embracing the heart, in all its grandeur, dreams, we're dreaming, our morbidly pleasant place

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пятница, 16 мая 2014
16:55

.

be bad, be mine.
The sheets got tangled in the mess we made
There in the stains, we remain.

sometimes,
it is difficult for me to point out why
i came to be unable to fall in love properly.

because of the ring on my finger or
because i am so desperately wretched.

but with one comes another.)
truthfully.

maybe i just lost the rage.
who needs rage nowadays, anyway?

we got world.
...
there were times, i thought and believed
that it would be never enough to love only one.

but now it seems all right.

@темы: refined cruelty, aiseru, house at the end of the world

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16:47

.

be bad, be mine.
i miss those times of innocence gone, sometimes. i do.
through the distorted chains of absorbed illusions i came
to the point, where i want people like i want definite things.
without those beautiful butterflies in your stomach, just..

a concrete thought of whether or not you can take it.
and there are almost none, that i can`t.

that is sad (a little?),
when your so-called power smashes you in the face.
...
night, i am so inspired and detached.

but i guess, that is a nice thing as well at some point.
i always shred share people for black and white.
those, i like and those, i can not stand.

everything comes easier that way.
and i hardly ever change my first opinion either.

hearts breaking even.

@темы: transparent poison, black swans, our morbidly pleasant place

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среда, 14 мая 2014
06:05

~cards on the table, we`re both showing hearts.

be bad, be mine.
there are times to take the things for granted.
there are times to rebel and there are times to adjust.
sometimes it strikes me to point in myself, that is right.
i am so much into bagels, resources management and
racing. i am so less into balancing on the borders of sin.

and it is not a lost thing at all.
i am still me. i am still bad. there is no one, i can not
make into a lover or a friend. temptation comes easy.

but i had so much tragedy and wretched in my life.
the amount of distortion in this little heart is exclusive.
so i want my still life and i agree to confess, that i am
a little bit out of the lines to reconnect with the balance.

i have my cars, i have home, i have you.
and for now nothing would sound better than this.

in my flaws there was so much vengeance to hurt you.
and i know that there were times, that i actually did..
but i would never ever feel something towards anyone,
except. i would never let myself to and i would never do.

if the world crushes, this stays. we stay.

@темы: refined cruelty, aiseru, in all its grandeur, house at the end of the world

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четверг, 01 мая 2014
06:57

~Thursday.

be bad, be mine.
i that adore my weekday holidays.
you can get up early in the morning,
pour yourself a beautiful chinese tea.


(even though we happily crushed my wonderful glass tea pot,
gotta get a new one in a short while)

slowly drinking lime sour, pushing the button of online ordering.
ahead of me morning cucumber mask, my lovely estheticians,
new cards to explore along with the riverside walk, short Subway.
and after that, always awaited dinner. <3.

still trying to find that Furla from 2012 collection.
...
they say, devil has a thousand faces.
and truthfully, i do probably have even more.
but i would not tired of saying that i so love.
my simple still life.

@темы: aiseru, in all its grandeur, dreams, we're dreaming, two story town

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понедельник, 28 апреля 2014
13:57

~苦しみさえも生きてく力に出来ると。

be bad, be mine.
stably every month charging my Starbucks and Subway cards.
not even if i like the first that much, but it is as if i had no choice.)
waiting for my new JAL card to arrive.

and no matter how i try, i can not over-sing you.
sometimes it raises a power in me to wonder how
it is possible to measure the depth of that attachment.

明日、日はまた上っていく。

@темы: in all its grandeur, house at the end of the world

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четверг, 10 апреля 2014
09:59

.

be bad, be mine.
that reminds me of:
i always wanted a Porsche, but now i would be happy to engage with 86.

@темы: our morbidly pleasant place, house at the end of the world

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09:55

~Destinations. 86.

be bad, be mine.
you know, how sometimes goals and achievements are not at all connected.
we cherish to be one, we tend to be another and we end up being something else.
there are so much beings with the dreams, so dramatically crushed. wasted. lost.

on the other hand, look.
i did not give a damn of who i wanted to be in the future.
but gradually, dating the same people, leveling myself..
i somehow always thought i would definitely be safe in fashion industry.

i mean, i hate invitations. i would not ask to be connected.
and i love clothes like hell, i literally bend over backwards every month.
spending, thousands and thousands coins to fashion myself up to head.
i thought, yes.

but here i am, finding myself early in the morning under the cars.
cleaning details, learning some wrecked crazy stuff about mechanics.
(thank night, i graduated in physics?) bowing right under 45 degrees.
leveling emotions through the hospitality, a very example of an attendant.

building my career,
spending even more,
wanting my baby 86 home soon.

and i think now, honestly.
who would have ever thought? :D



my baby, G`s grade, only wonderful 2500000K to fly away.
going with it.
(killing so many people on simulator race,
that someone might have rethought my license future..w)

@темы: in all its grandeur, dreams, we're dreaming, our morbidly pleasant place

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понедельник, 31 марта 2014
18:23

.

be bad, be mine.
i have so much money i do not know, what else i could buy.

record note,
thus money do not make me happy. (a little?)

i would say, we all made it together to this line.
i remember myself, scratching off the surfaces.
i remember my lovers, scratching for one drink.

i mean,
everything evaluates itself. especially, me.

prométeme
que no me vas a dejar sin tu amor.

they say, i am excessively mean and i am all about love.
what makes it bad, exactly?..

@темы: black swans, house at the end of the world, black and white

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18:17

.

be bad, be mine.
one of my former customers got so lonely,
that he throw out to me Ive`s scarf for my only snap photo. :O

i mean, okay.
i am very strict to acceptance and disorder.
if i hate someone, i would hate them for life.
if i like someone, i would likely forgive the nausea sometimes.

i disadvantage brands.
but another scarf to my collection. <3.

@темы: in all its grandeur, house at the end of the world

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18:13

..

be bad, be mine.
i wish i could love somebody else.)
better, honored and dignity-made person.

but i won`t.
...
so there is a very rare night alone.
not-accustomed and filled with lemon spirits.

he said, he would be back by the night.
so, waiting and drinking. lonesomeness.

@темы: refined cruelty, aiseru

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среда, 26 марта 2014
09:33

~Tonight.

be bad, be mine.
so, today i signed the contract with Toyota.

and awhile made a list of my favorite items to buy.
thank night, i discharge any advantage of brands..
otherwise even my current income would disappear.
i mean, at least we have lost brand items at home for
around 60 in all, but i would rather sell them all away.

my wishes are simple as breathing, actually.
new Dior fragrance, new Furla bag, new leather jacket.
allowance to buy myself a house and Porsche in the future.
Florence, when i would be able to take my one week holiday.
Central Park for Christmas? or maybe, San-Francisco instead.

i mean, i often prefer not to, i but i would rather work.
instead of raising kids, sitting at home, something else..
i would rather work.

so i am a working man.) woman? anyway.

@темы: our morbidly pleasant place, joyful days

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вторник, 25 марта 2014
13:48

6/8.

be bad, be mine.
so promise me you will never be anybody`s but mine.

@темы: refined cruelty

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13:36

.

be bad, be mine.
for a record.

i do have major skills as serving customers,
even though i do not like humans very much.
but myself, i am the worst version of one could think of.

i am looking for a new house before June to decide.
i can not help but want those, who would screen my criteria
and find myself a dream place. (1LDK, 50m, 5y., pets allowed,
inside the circle of my adorable district.) but they will fail away.

because i am a bad customer.
i like to worn people out at once.
i enjoy it mostly as i can.
and i become angry just at once.

well, hoping that those will not fall dead be-fronting me.)

@темы: joyful days, house at the end of the world

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13:29

~truly achieved improvements?

be bad, be mine.
so i was leading my still life, maxing out my credit cards.
enjoying my aesthetic salons, gym, masks and body control.
in the meantime, eating all the delicious little targets of those.
and then Toyota called and said that it wanted me seriously.
like super seriously to pay over 30 just to have me there.

and i always wanted red wine Porsche.
but i smiled and said that i could love Toyota as well.
because i am flexible and i love a good side income.

and tomorrow i am about to sign my very contract.
finally i can live in my dream house and continue blacking out
the cards.
...
i can speak four languages, so it is probably sane that i could
challenge four jobs as well. in a raw, obviously but in my world,
as in any other world those win, who suggest the highest bid.
as it comes to work, we can not stop being pragmatical.

gold is gold.
and i am surprisingly still in the depths of me three debts.
...
i love Osaka more than every place in this world. (except, maybe Paris?)
so i am longing enough to go there again, climb the malls and towers.
eating my favorite yummies in my favorite places, staying at my hotels.
that is amazing, how beautifully designed the love hotels here.
if i could draw, i would become the designer of them, precisely.

but i majored in aesthetics, i am flawed and i love my course.
以上.

@темы: in all its grandeur, dreams, we're dreaming, our morbidly pleasant place, joyful days

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четверг, 20 марта 2014
10:29

.

be bad, be mine.
i do not know,
why my lovers keep speaking up Spanish on me.

should i speak Spanish as well?
as my fifth language to go through?
i mean, okay..

te quiero? w

(i would list it as the most passionate language, anyway.
and easy.)

@темы: refined cruelty, blue lights of lust

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