i was so-so very interested in the fact of why,
no matter how all my family is throwing out that
ultimate suspicious and unrightiousness-path thougths,
they could never let themselves the sign of disrespect.
on the other hand, they show the greatest respect.

probably, it is useful to be so scary.
at least, the outer respect you can actually get.

that is towards bro.
compairing to him i am still not at all scary
...
sometimes i do think now, aw.
i have to do something. develop something?
syncronize myself with this sinful lovely world.
pass those exams, learn italin, get driving license.
go to some courses, find interesting something )

but then i think, that is probably for those, who got nothing.
those, who got nothing have so many time for self-improve.
i was like that for how many, 20 years? trowing myself out
to every something just to be sure i am existing through it.

since i got Home, it goes as no surprise it came as unneeded.
i need nothing more to be sure that my existence is completed.
because we managed it, not commiting some serious sins.
as bro is saying 罰になったら、一生で会えない。

the feeling of completeness is a good feeling. calm feeling.
when i rest enough out of my past and decide to build another
version of me, i will start learning italian, probably. deinetely yes.

i respect people, who are building up their completeness with work.
they are えらい・　but not being able to find or built their home instead -
for us this price is not acceptable. that is why i gave up the idea for
now to go somewhere in the music management. you always choose.
i feel like everytime i would have chosen home.

amazing, how limited are our contacts with people.
even with those, we made labels of our family members.
but of all the time, we are choosing home our of living.

we are way too angled to be understood ever since.
...
am i reflexing_? やれやれ・
i have to eat Big Mac which is 200 yen this week!
and then write letters, choose photos and go meet
bro at Shibuya, where there is the most delicious
strawberry desert for 1000 yen. adorable adorable.

um, perfectly doing 一つになりたいこと。
up until now not going somewhere at all
should go Ikebukuro/Akihabara tomorrow.