ааа. образ жизни сказывается на нас критично.
вернулись домой в час, проснулись в четыре.
всю ночь маялись дурью и наконец вырубились
где-то в одиннадцать утра. проснулась в четыре.
и как мне было лень ехать на концерт, черт возьми.
снова пропустила. надеюсь, мне это снова простят.
xxx
i have been thinking over just..
how many people you can dating at once, doing this stuff?
maybe bro is even more mercantile than me, thinking only
about the presents, i can get and i am way too proud to go
only for presents no matter what and already had numerous
talks about that with Kazu. hence i am not giving my phone
numbers in hands as easily. but returning to the point of all
the people, i am ever close enough with or so-to-say dating
with from time to time only Ryu is acknowledged that i am
actually bound in marriage and even for him it was not so
easy to accept in the first place. with all those 気持ちの問題・
no matter how you look at this, you lie deeply.
the question is just how better you can be at this.
there is a line in one of my fav songs -
ちっちゃなウソで かためた城.
the castle i've fortified with small lies.
i love my family. i want to protect everyone.
i do not want everyone to be deep into comparison.
there is no way you can love everyone with one love.
but there is someone, i will always give prefence to.
and that is enough for.
even with that, i made it perfectly clear back than
when bro tried to claim his eternal right to meet with Ryu.
that he actually does not have a right to be even close it.
you trusted me with this role.
so believe i will be able to keep it till the end. perfectly.
that i can arrange everything better that it could ever be.
or i am not me, love. or i was never me in the first place.