sometimes i do not want to get you.
because i can not even say - i do not get you.
you are me, the same whims and breakers on.
i know how you breathe and why you feel what you feel.
i know all your heart attacks and all your amendments.

but there is only one thing that even we can not change.
history. the order, we met someone and then moved on.
he had me first, he slipped, i met you, you slipped, he came.
you know me better, but he knows me deeper and further past.
that old, scary past filled in with blood and scissors.

you were not there. but he was.
he saw me down the hole and down the hell all along.
he was there when i went downtown and stayed there.

you do not have nothing to go with.
no history, no amendments and no proof.
and i surely hate like hell the way you acted.

during all the time, we are together i never flamed.
never blamed anything that i ever felt on you. no.
but this time i do. because it is just so not right.

and i want me protected with what i could feel instead.
i can not hate you, i can not cause you pain, even argue right.
but they can. for me. and night believe me, i let them to do it.

hlg - hold lights gently, while you can.