but my heart is as cold as ice.
as my father says, we all tend to make mistakes. sometimes.
being prejudiced of simple things, what we want and what we love.
what is important and whats not. bur hardly ever it can prevent us
from moving forward, searching for the new ways and options ahead.
when we fell apart back then, i honestly feel bad about that now.
how strongly i tried to convince you that one person is for life.
that i love, love, love, aiming to throw all the kingdom on knees.
but you loved me nonetheless.
loved me like no one did.
some years earlier, when i faced that personal bloodbath.
you were the one, who took the knives away and hugged me.
i hated everyone so much for the first war, but even than always.
you loved me nonetheless.
i was young, and you taught me a lot.
i always wanted to be like you. scary. crazy. good at managing.
still kept on going through the crusades of falling for the wretched.
when the number of you failed relationship becomes greater
that your nearly income, probably it is where you want to stop.
it feels as if you were doing drugs with someone for the long time.
and it seemed so hilarious if not the sober up afterwards. oh, hell.
i am going to be 26.
i would never want to leave early in the morning ever again.
they say, blood is thicker than water. but it is not.
in the very end all that we have is blood only to trust.
it will not turn on you, no matter what.
you asked me, what is forever,
and i say, now i see that it was always you, i wanted to share that crown with.
likely, it is not too late to make right choices now.
i so desperately want to grow up like you in years.