...
i have seen people, lacking hearts, intelligence, dreams..
probably, everything at once. seen the ones, lacking lives.
replacing them with something that much non-existing ever.
but i can not quite understand why i am being attached to
the part of where i find myself lacking something in the first place.

pride? where i find me week to be wanting it.
stubborness? where i find it as really needed.
humaness? where i find myself on repeat. arh.

the sadness, deeper that the sadness itself is..
a fleeting one, as we are of the water, are fleeting.
i am not yet that strong, i am not even mature in
the terms that Oliver would have used for me. and.

i know that i am not perfect and yet so much to learn.
is it blaming myself for not being good enough at my skills?
is it the part, where i can not make it fading no matter what?
is it the part of stupid making someone against his nature?
*becauseiwantittobethisway*

that person is not obviously worth it.
he is not much purer than me - he is heavenly much decayed.
but i forgot the part when you become one with someone and.
keep holding it within yourself. accepting it as your own sins./

we both are not too good for each other. in those many ways.
and yet i had that admiration for my own projected reflection.
i still have. i still realize it within yourself.

probably, (of course.) Oliver was right.
do not play with the water if you do not how to stream it right.
because it will flash and flush into you not less than an ocean.
respectively, not one of the yours within.

my, my.
someone has to make a point instead of many points.

pretty please?

such a sadness is a luxury for those, who have too much.
sometimes i do think, i return to this only when i am bored.
and have none methaphysical problems to be fucking with.
i have seen a way out, i prefer to be inside. the point is?..
probably, i am actually enjoying it in this state.