well, probably i stop writing for a while what i am writing about.
i am messed up like hell, yet and ever and dont quite find a way
how to be out of this for now, so probably yes i just stop bothering.
until next week, next mess and next regrets about what is going on.
...
being back to everyday, yet amazing nonsense --
today we finally managed our way to Meiji Shrine for 初詣,
and it was the first time when i got my number one prophecy.
it never lies you know. it just never lies, no matter what it is.

i wont be able to manage the way till the end, being messed up.
i do have to purify my mind from all the mess, which is literally
saying, is judged by society and the whole meaning of rightshisness.
and for now i dont have pride for that because my pride has passed off.
i am sunk in the greatest deception in my whole life and that is very it.

i have my winter to be out of it, somehow. and i will be.
now i am wretched and out of the line of moral far away.
and i didnt tell about that even if i should have to.
...
the other wondering way to live through these days is BARGAIN.
not bargain, but BARGAIN. because its awesomely cheap and all.
already managed myself a pair of breathtaking leather white boots.
and since i get my new year money tomorrow partly, it will be the range.
i need something fur and something coatly white. it is honeslty so cheap.
i can manage boots for 2000 yen, who would have guessed it honestly!

and i have to drink italian vanilla coffee, send letters and something else.

i was draged to school recently, they adored me there.
i failed the test completely yet got the higher level (how am i to manage
that?) and was completely praised by the interview, i proudly guess. yay.
i am running across the school like a princess, looking down on stupid
stupid little foreigners, it gives something sweet to my pride and image.
that is why i ll be going there somehow cos its a good reason to stop by
109.

カツカレーtoday was indescribably tasty <3