まだまだだ。

i know you do not believe, you meant that much to me. but.
なかなか頭から（体から？）出ない。お前の存在。やれやれ・・・
罰になれ、生きていってくって感じ。
...
bro has problems with his head, obviously. (defined fact w)
we are going one hour towards Idabashi tomorrow just cos
he found some wonderful (i am sure, lame enough) shop.
spending 1000 yen on trains, trying to find cheap clothes.

意味＿？ない！

that is why i am going to buy myself another pair of shoes n cup.
and cooking some tomato carry in the morning. i am cooking, yes.
i am still pressured about money from this side, how awesome that is.
even with that i am spending much. very much. being sure that at any
case my family is sure i am an angel with kind heart and just genius.
that i do not have to make excuses for spending these money.
i know, that is bad. i know, i am 使い過ぎ。　but fuck, i am me.

bro is making lies after lies, covering this. i am so grateful <3

aw, today we managed two Hello Kitty bunnies in crane game **
they are just super cute.
...
i wonder, how much time should pass so my body forget.
that you can play perfectly when you do not love.
that senses are messing everything into something else.
maybe, a little more time to pass, to think about it.

まだまだだ。