i do not know if i could've been more irritated than now.
but i know what keeps me from fuck it up completely.
well, blessed i am for that, seems.

you do not know how i act, when i let this mood out there.
i do not even care at the time, how not strong of me it is.
but i keep myself as far as i can from the definite destructions.

in a hope, it will do me good sometimes.
...
i do miss.
yesterday when i talked with the one, who so reminded me of..
i got how far i fell in my not-so-successful attempts of going back.

i am separated with the distance of one phone call.
but i am not capable of making this one phone call.
already four months.

is that a proud or stupidity, i would love to ask.