the deepest uneasiness is when you finally do realize
that you could have done better and there were ways.
but you somehow missed them all and well.. period?

i do not have regrets in my amazing life.
i highly believe that there are no not-replaceble people.
and i took way too much blame on myself in this case.
when actually it came to the most so natural dead end.

but i feel sad, that i did worse that i could have done.
not so skillful, the hell not the way i have been taught.
in the very end when i for sure got what i wanted to,
after some analyse you come to the point that your
means were messy. dirty. not so aesthetically perfect.

i have been taught by a great master how to cut clean.
i was pretty much a good girl to learn all the technique.
but i let my feelings into the part where you must not feel.
and i failed. because it is pretty common i am bad at it.
with such a water, going circles inside me, all was foreseen.

i promise, i will do better next time.
you hear me, i do. i will do my best.
there is just so much more to learn..
and i wish so i wish you were by my side.

but we both know it is unacceptable.