it never becomes any easier.
awaiting is a luxury, i can not afford.
and pushing it is the way, where i do
hesitate between hurting my pride and.
the fear of losing it all in the very end.

in this way or another i put it down so many times.
i do need you, no matter what. i need you with me.
but i can not call out for you numerous times too.
i know, you will be never coming from yourself. yet.

i wish you came. like you used to do before now.

maybe, once.