but there were quite so many things, i could not say..
and probably would have not, even face to face as well.
(definitely not over by phone and not directly in any case)
but thank god, we are all into the net over here. for sure. for good. for lives.
i swear, i will write down everything from the start and make you swallow it.

and i dont care, which result it will lead to.)
sometimes we just have to open the chest up.
i am into it more than a year and it sickens me.

and since i never loved you, it is easy as hell.

i used to write long meaning letters to all my lovers.
last time i did it about two years ago and after that we did stay on a good term.
all of them were in this or that way fucked up highly. (lovers, not letters..)
but they were reading to the end. were gratitude even sometimes for that.

and we are also human. you and i.
and i can not even imagine what kind of relation we can have from now.
but i told you, you will never get out of me as easily as you are used to.
i have all the power of not the point, clearly made but the open ending.

time to refeel it now, boy. and it goes for me as well, though.
i thought earlier, your memory is kind of strong to recognize me.
with your way of living after so many days away without speaking.
one second? two seconds? you could not hurt me at any case?
you never rised your voice up? you managed to even care about me?

there was something different about the relationship, we agreed back then.
and when i realized it, i hated it so much.. because nothing is more difficult
than accepting new roles along the way. and i mean, did i hurt you instead?
you told me, you never cared.. but in the very end you did care about my ring.
might as well have been yours, ne.

and if that was the real point, i mean. i am going to laugh during crying.
...
with this i am taking my flight to Russia in the morning. light hearted.
off for two weeks vacation to snow!

i am in Saint-Petersburg up till 14. you can call me, catch me, hug me.
after that i am back home again.