понедельник, 26 декабря 2011
you like what you see when you are looking at me,
cause you think that i do what i do for you,
dont you wonder why?..nope, for me.
my life is a fucking mess. lovely adorable mess. always!
every day i return home, where everything is perfect. and..
every morning (night?) i want to step out of there that much.
because i love my home highly. and i have to be balanced.
and my raving around due to my schedule helps me to be one.
i mean, i know. the roles should be perfectly separated.
you have your friends to talk with, your lovers to sleep with
and those handy people, devoted to you, to be your slaves.)
that is not right to mix the roles. because it becomes hell.
and i was taught how not to, and there is a definite reason,
why i have not been in a usual relationship more than two weeks.
(my old and favourite personal record?) there is just nothing there.
except tears, lies, deceptions, pain. and it ends anyway, always.
i never could get humans, changing partners with the same story.
repeating love, pain, exceptions, hopes, expectations and parting.
but that is not the point. the point is that one of my lovers wont
pick up the phone and another one gives me preferable demands.
i mean, yes. but why i should i listen demands for a simple sex?
awh! these people know, they are good. and i always choose well.
they know exactly how good they are and what good they can do.
that is why i found myself in a state of begging on all my fronts. nice.
but now i would be happy to work even one case out of three.
starting the morning conversation with ってか最近いつエッチした？
makes me think that we are back to the very basics, but well.
i always prefered experience over personal matters. mature ones.
so i have to deal with the maturity. (or how should i say that anywway?)
i am not a savior, night. i need someone to lead me all the way instead.
no matter what we are talking about, characters or sexual intercourse.)
that is why i always always always truly believe into the age difference.
let me be with those, who are at least 6 years older than i am. please.
save me from those, who are the same age. they are so so impossible.
i dont love. i dont maybe even know how to show it out right.
my degree of attachment is equal to the degree of irritating state.
everyone irritates me in this way or another, but some people - less.
they will do, apparently.
but something tells me, some things i can fix. not the ones, i craved most.
but. people in my country know how to place pragmatic over personal. and.
i want to believe, i know it too.
so let it snow, for what its worth.
@темы:
emerald shadows,
down to amalgamation,
refined cruelty