i mean, it wasnt all bad. well, it was bad enough, though w.
but i am still having issues of letting it go even now. always, maybe?
still that blaming myself that i could not keep what i was intended to.
oh, girl. you should have learned the harsh way that some things are
just naturally not gonna happen, no matter how you may plead for them.

i probably miss myself now, miss my old life, miss my old habits too.
among the different tastes of commitment and social climbing, there
is definitely one important part missing, doing something with your freedom.
which i never will be able to adjust to, completely. i am not the one to say -
i have complaints. jeez, i am not. but i am not excessively satisfied as well.
that neverending taste of pefection, i would say.

one day i will maybe give my crown up for good.
despite all the oaths, promises and the oldest reprinted tales.
now i am just trying to do my best and control the oceans within.

it will probably, again. do me any good.