since i have being told that Mavis is so greatly portrayed from me,
i found it a hearty obligation to put on a couple of words on character.
i mean, yes. i have been leading quite the same way of living on some
points of my life. where it is difficult to divide the day from the day in
all that routine, in all that continuation with big TV, quick stands, m.
sleeping without taking off your dress, even if it is Marc Jacobs?..

but more i probably wanted to cross the fact, that i knew that feeling too.
where your heart drops down (why in this case it was that damn morbid?),
the nerves before the first date, the way to do your hair, the way to resolve.
the problem is, very often human beings just too sure in something, that is
not important at all. that is why Mavis kept on chasing the scent of fake love,
so-called destined affection. that is why me used to live on pills and angst.

there is nothing wrong in loving someone. but after all these years i got to
know, that there is no right to think that you have no options, left from that.
no need to go all suicidal, drunk, high when things took the wrong way out.
in the very end who is critically damaged? Mavis? or that guy, swallowed by
the dull, grey, lonesome corner with something, that was possessed as happiness.

if you ask me now, i would say that i have been there for a long-long time.
but the time has passed and i reached the truth, where there is no crossroad.
there are multiple ways, multiple choices, multiple lovers (i am not trying to ironize)
the only difference between me and Mavis is that i got the guy in the end as well.
to understand probably, that i love the ones, who are completely damaged within.
even more wretched than me. and every person, i am with now is acknowledged of it.

but again, there is nothing wrong in loving someone. my love is always distorted.
there is just a line, which you cross and lose yourself. and no one is truly worth it.
love me as i am, let me be who i am. and maybe from there you will point a destiny.