for someone, who spent some years behind the bars or have
an experience in a captivity in either way, world seems differ.
on X-mas day i waked up and was eating a strawberry cake barefoot.
it felt great. there are days, when a hot water feels even more blessed.
a lot of years ago, one person told me something like.
-Isa, now you have that chance to prove your loyaty to me.
now i might say back, that loyalty is not actually an option.
nor something to prove or look after for a log run, nah.
you can not switch it on and off like a lamp. it is there or not.
i do not like the word betrayal. made by humans and so rubbish.
but be sure, that i will hunt you down for all the shit, you caused me. bro.
good news. when your plastic surgeon is number one in the world, that`s
something. still hurts as hell but you have some amazing satisfaction fever.
i mean, i would do it again. i know that i will. three days post-op and running.
you can be a lot of things.
but somehow, when you 4 kids running to you, shouting.
-in Hawaii we want to eat loco moco and parfait, mum!
all the bloodshed and heavy days, all the burden, all the sins.
they all seem better. or at least, i want to think that they are.
i remember, how we met.
you were late for one hour and there was Banderas film on TV in the hotel.
all the cruelty, all the tears, all the distance, all the guns and all the roses.
you are my favorite hitman, for all i worth, T.
my kids loooooove you hips.
oh. what i want for this year?
want all the emeralds, i missed at the auction and all the cruise Chanel.
that is impossible how much unnesassary shit you buy when have money.
want to make my kids eat that pineapple parfait or whatever.
i am far from a good person, but you know. family is always first.