среда, 19 марта 2014
12:37

~early blossomings, heavy rains.

be bad, be mine.
it is spring at hand and it feels pretty damn good.)
i am leaving for Osaka in two days where there is gonna be
oceans of love, sakura blossoms and my favorite home food.

sometimes you just need a bottle of Freixenet for yourself.
(my favorite as well rose Spain wine, established since 1861?)
sometimes you need to be told that a major company wants you.
sometimes you just keep longing to be laid and stressed out.
and when it is done, all the problems seem smaller. :D

to make the lines shorter and not bending yourself over backwards,
almost all the troubles can be somehow saved with a good wine or a good sex.
probably nice to have both at the same time.
...
keep wondering why Korean people are so good with skin care and sheet masks.
jeez, i would never allow myself to cut my wonderful face with a plastic surgeries.
but i steadily buy 100 sheet masks every year, because they are that amazing.

on tops of that,
oriental aesthetic salon every Friday, gym twice a week, super muscle machine
which cost me 3 grand and i am fit for another summer coming along my way.

there were times,
when i thought that i would never see another spring again.
when i thought that i would never love (you) again.

but here we are, getting married with the crossroads.
way to go, hell.

i can wonderfully multitask.
(9th season of GA is great also)

@темы: refined cruelty, in all its grandeur, our morbidly pleasant place, joyful days, house at the end of the world

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среда, 12 марта 2014
07:05

.

be bad, be mine.
there are rare definite someones, who know all the answers.
who definitely hold all the keys, sideways and explanations.
all the rest ones, they do not know. hence, they speculate.
go rounds with the half-truth, building up the missing parts.
here is how the gossips, lies and deception grows.

i am clearly 嘘の塊 myself and that is why i know how to.
i do not like individuals, who try to speculate with the truth.
especially, when it comes to my dear truth.

i keep on thinking all the time.
what the freaking business it gets to do with you?

all my flaws, mistakes, happiness and decisions.
they are only mine.

so good so far.
...
when people get messy, they usually get played.
and i loved Wittgenstein and his language quirks.

watch your tongue.

@темы: joyful days

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среда, 05 марта 2014
12:34

~Tomorrow Land.

be bad, be mine.
it is so pretty much heavy raining, these are the lazy days.
to roll up in bed, watching 8th season of GA, eating cookies.
there are also mornings to wind through Shinjuku, catch the
early Subway breakfast in the B1 of 50th floor buildings, but.
not today.

today tis
strawberry cheesecakes, whip cream and screening.

@темы: our morbidly pleasant place, joyful days

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понедельник, 03 марта 2014
12:25

~career records.

be bad, be mine.
i would never want to be a mother.
i would never want to ride up my career stairs either.
i enjoy my still life and who i am, without hesitation.

but let us say, i sign up myself for a job.
people here do claim their hopes pretty much harsh.
they apply to 200 companies and still continue doing
the job till the rest of their lives, which they so dislike.

but let us say, i am elite.
i saw people from my beloved Keio breaking their limits.
because good roots stay for nothing if you ain`t got skills.

i am brilliant, but there are a lot of things, that i lack.
i lack attention and i reject all the forms of subordination.
i am lazy, but i want 4500000 annual income eventually.

i dislike people, yet i want to work in sales.
i do not work Saturdays, yet i want bonuses.
...
you know, life is always as hell as scales.
but i applied to 13 companies, i got 7 to screen me through interviews.

i am good.
but i know what i want to do and it is really hard to contain it in one work place.
we will see. i still so much hesitate about me, actually doing a permanent job.

that is what i do - i come and go when it pleases me.
i lack stability, i despise attachments. permanence.
is mythical, when it runs through my blood.

we will see.

@темы: our morbidly pleasant place

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11:31

~one heart to blossom, one heart to tear apart.

be bad, be mine.
so, let us sum up the things around.
it is March, all the 桜 is about to give us a long rose road.)
i finally got my tickets to Osaka and yup, i am going home.
still have two interviews this week, where they have to balance
my hopes, anticipations, skills and salary.. so it is quite hard.

still have my litchi mask, memories about yesterday`s 温泉
in Saitama, Saitama Super Arena and soup carry which was yam.

mm.. sometimes those movies like Elizabethtown is a charm.
you can wrap yourself into old good American dream, pies and sadness.
quite as that, another wonderful Pleasantville.

@музыка: Мельница (Не успеваю)

@темы: in all its grandeur, dreams, we're dreaming, our morbidly pleasant place, joyful days, through the stained glass

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четверг, 27 февраля 2014
08:33

~please don`t take `em just because you can, Jolene.(c)

be bad, be mine.
well, yesterday i actually had my long-awaited day off.
you probably know, that i almost do not get myself day offs
and while i can, they are always Wednesdays, so..)

excessively early in the morning (12 p.m.) i caught a bus
to 品川, to visit the very impersonation of the prison cells
themselves - a gray, depressing building of immigration office.
there accepted a bunch of documents and forms to fill for my
beloved permanent residence, hopefully ready to receive soon.
autumn, eventually?

then drifted to a nail salon nearby. two hours, nice coffee.
masquerade nails. (go to instagram to adore) i love masks.
and we again have here Cirque du Soleil, so i cross for that
one as well. as to my nails, i tend to choose wine or violet.
bordeaux, always.

no matter, how much i want myself new Ray Bans,
they say, they can repair my old Italian glasses for a cheap.
my eyesight is gradually dropping, so i do need my glasses.
which ought to be designed as sunglasses, so yes and yes.
double price as it is.
...
you know, sometimes i love those Wednesday evenings.
Italian restaurant, Pignanello/12 and Freixenet/11, candles.
(i am not superior at wines, so likely it was the other way around :O)
top of a building, dark curtains, gold fish and two gimlets in a row..
somehow badly romantic to share with the best friend, huh?
and yet, i remember that to divide and rule you should always divide
a friendship and benefits. i mean, okay. you can have friendship for
30 years and you can share benefits for 3, but you hardly ever got them
both. but it is just me, i am flawed and i often for through my own rules.

so you see, it is all quite messed-up.
but the evening was lovely. and i was lovely.
and i love myself being lovely when there is.

i wish i had more those Wednesdays.)

@музыка: Jolene

@темы: in all its grandeur, our morbidly pleasant place, joyful days

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понедельник, 24 февраля 2014
08:46

~all those lines across my face tell you the story of who i am.(c)

be bad, be mine.
the recent chain of events lead me to the point, where i do not like Kate Spade,
because they kindly refused my talents, based on the fact that i do not work
Saturdays.) but in spite of that i kind of like NY, that is why i keep on hesitating
between Mark Jacobs and Ray Ban, one more mouton and another lip gloss..
the thing is my eyesight is dropping gradually, i somehow dislike correction also.
that leaves me probably either with Ray Ban with amazingly expensive lenses or.
simple sunglasses without a mark, so maybe i would just give it a go this month.
...
you know, there were times i have been at my worst. almost near to be the lost cause.
but those times have dramatically passed, there were a lot of (human) sacrifices too.)
that is why, i will always have an upper hand. maybe, sometimes it looks a lil bit crafty.
i do not give a damn. when i feel like pushing, i will push. when i feel like annihilating..
well. there were times when i have not got any visible power, but now i do. so, please.
no apologies.
...
these days a very interesting question is coming to life. i mean, okay.
i used to date someone, who could buy a plane with his credit card.
i used to date someone, who hardly could buy me a cup of coffee after.
i actually do not care about money, but people keep asking why i do.
the problem is, apart from the financial adjustment, i do admit stability.
i can be madly in love with someone, who earns 1000/hour cashing the register.
i can cash out all my credit cards for this one, not asking for anything in return.
hence, this is because i can. because i am stable, self-assured and la la la..

纏める is a good word. i seek in my partners stability, assurance, security.
and i cherish a thought that someone, who does not want to be more is NG.
human beings are interesting species. they can always be something more.
that is why there is always an open way from the bottom through the skill up.
i know, that truly rich people (succeeded ones) remember how it is to suffer.
from needing or so. well, i do.

that is why i want those, i choose to grow. just a little bit.
all of us can be flawed. i am the queen of the wretched, for night`s sake.
but when someone asks me, will you love me as madly as now if i will be
cashing the register for the rest of my life?.. my answer will always be no.

with all the love, compared.
i will stand by one, who gives me security. even if i do love him less.
because that is what called a rational proceeding through the life course.

i mean, i could always have all of the rest.
but. but.

@темы: refined cruelty, house at the end of the world, you, me and the crowd

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вторник, 18 февраля 2014
09:32

~.

be bad, be mine.
But the queen of hearts will always be
A five-year-old princess to me.

She will.

@темы: crimson snowflakes, it`s you and me

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понедельник, 17 февраля 2014
12:37

~keep calm and love STH(LM). 17/02.

be bad, be mine.
to think of it, it has been already three years since my marriage day.
time flies fast. yet, i have not accomplished buying my Vera dress.)
but i learned the harsh way of making amends instead of demands.
sometimes. asking for the little emeralds instead of big diamonds?

i have been always wondering what it is like to be Titania.
(a lot of snow these days just reminded me the scent of William
and his Winter Night, Midsummer Night). and when i became her,
some things occurred to me, that i have never used to think of before.

i mean, okay.
i know that i can be mean, bossy, arrogant, moody and hell what.
i intend to stand here for the next one hundred years. maybe, more.

nothing will bring us down.
...
by the way, Hunger Games are wonderful.
and the color of this pre-sakura time is IVSLの9.
always, 9.

what else?
coffee solves everything. :D

@темы: in all its grandeur, joyful days, house at the end of the world

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четверг, 13 февраля 2014
11:27

~Diablotine. (#643)

be bad, be mine.
i would lie if say that i am hurting. just so so tired.
i admit as well, that sometimes it is nice to flash out.
slamming doors, sharing tears, multiply one nights..
right the saying, i am good at being bad when it takes.
but, in the very end if i level my partners, who are wretched
enough to tear the world apart, for the occasional killing.
what makes me better? what makes me that subtly refined?

that is why, i keep on coming home.
because someone has to show gratitude and forgiveness.
because honestly. i ain`t better than any of them. maybe,
more.

but i am so tired of flashing.
i just want my Diablotine lip gloss and a new leather jacket.

period.

love me back to life.

@темы: transparent poison, down to amalgamation, refined cruelty

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четверг, 06 февраля 2014
12:48

.

be bad, be mine.
argh, found myself completely wasted tonight.
not that i am down that way so much often,
yet in a form of rebellion it just takes its stakes.
one bottle of wine down the throat and it was done.

anyway, i am probably happy that even in a mood
*kill every single soul in this damned damned world*
i can find at home a mountain of croissants and open arms.

nevertheless, i passed through my favorite company
just to find out that they place me in hell knows where.
so i am kind of in a cognitive dissonance here all day.

we are all down to Spain nowadays, so. (i do not know, why..)
i can speak 3 languages on a native level and i still have shreds of french.
so why now give Spanish a chance? it is easy, it is simple, it is so nice.

let us see, 2500 waiting for me. 千葉方面。
どーしよ。

@темы: in all its grandeur, joyful days: house at the end of the world

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среда, 05 февраля 2014
13:30

.

be bad, be mine.
you tangle with one hells angel, you tangle with the whole gang.

sweet.

@темы: joyful days

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13:27

~chinese readings;

be bad, be mine.
may you have a brilliant future,
may your lovers eventually become spouse,
may you enjoy happiness in this earthly world.
i only wish to face the sea, with spring flowers blossoming.

truly amazingly beautiful,
apart from the fact that almost all of them would never
be honored with that hesitation and problem to be chosen.)

yet, i would always say
that there is something inevitably breathtaking in being a lover.
rather, than sitting next to me.

but again,
that seat is already taken forever too.

all the remnants can be mind. all the remnants can be mine.

@темы: transparent poison, embracing the heart

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пятница, 31 января 2014
10:14

~you are tragic and beautiful, that`s good enough for me. (c)

be bad, be mine.
i love refined cruelty in those definite movies.
subtle, sophisticated, detailed and detached.
where it is so beautiful, and yet somehow - tragic.
nonsensically simple and yet, very comprehensive.
as if a tiny little hole keeps opening inside your heart.
probably, there is no need to try to go through the depth.
just watch, ravish, being morbidly and fully addicted to.)

that reminds me that,
i love dresses, colored wine red, medieval glasses and.
...
but again, i started watching Game of Thrones.
how much it reminds me about the lands of Skyrim, my.
epic, yet been seen so many times.

i am out of my dimes again. nevertheless, nevertheless..
gotta have my VMD degree, balanced year income and fun.
it is amazing how you can actually choose your work, when
there is nothing near, considering your probable salary.
it is nice to do something you love, when it is for yourself.
not for paying the rent, you know.

i mean, i am still facing great movement into a new house this year.
but hey, let us leave to someone else.)
i am just paying the rent, i just wanna be able to enjoy what i do.
,,,
left me with the thoughts of how i would never be able to trade love for money.
maybe i am inevitably wretched, somehow it needles me suddenly and harsh,
but i am used to choose people by heart, buy my lovers coffee and plane tickets..
i want to be assured that somewhere, somehow it is going to be scaled, and yet.
i will probably always judge people not regarding of their black cards, but hearts.

let us face it, my partners are as much wretched as i am.
so what is the point in calculating someone`s income at all.

been there, learned that.
maybe, always too proud. maybe, always too affected.

@темы: refined cruelty, aiseru, in all its grandeur, house at the end of the world, looking through vitrage

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среда, 29 января 2014
10:26

~if i ever do the job,

be bad, be mine.
i would love work VMD for at least 300K per month.)
but all they are offering me now is 180K and 10h/day.
it does not make me motivated at all, since i am used
to working only 5 hours a day somehow.. in the very end.

not that i am in a desperate need and yet,
i understand people, who keep falling for about 200 times.

requirements. anticipations. wish.
impossible to combine all into one.

@темы: our morbidly pleasant place, joyful days

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понедельник, 27 января 2014
13:50

.

be bad, be mine.
these days are running too fast,
where you can barely open your eyes for a kiss
and then just dream, dream, dream again..)

Louboutin is awesomely great, as always.
but i just need a new shower as soon as possible too.



as to recent,
i finally watched Cloud Atlas, Jeune et Jolie and Sleeping Beauty.
the first one is honestly enormously rich in its sensibility of chaining everything possible.)
no words can express my joy and excitement, i wish i could see more such movies now.
so simply human, about how to differ, to vary, to make it somewhere aimed, to be lonely.
nothing charming, and probably nothing that proves that there is somehow a credibility.
i mean, taking from here i know how to connect, tape, force into crossing from nothingness.
and yet, the film is beautiful. it reminds me how i love the puzzles and missing pieces.

hard to comment on the other two ones.
but there is a great movement in me after watching them. no need to explain.

i do not know, why i am off my schedule again.
desperately need vacation. somewhere far away.
please, please.

@темы: transparent poison, dreams, we're dreaming, looking through vitrage

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четверг, 23 января 2014
09:05

~morning elegy, その６・

be bad, be mine.
the winter holidays just ended, but it feels like i need another vacation right away.
all that i can do for now is to dream about my wonderful spa in Okinawa for May
and probably, longed and awaited tickets for Osaka just in just a couple of months.
two Furla bags, Chanel sunglasses, Gucci wallet and my wishlist is pretty much off.
i hate branding that much, yet little accessoires keep on developing the best in me.

they say, gold changes people. by the way. well, i do not know..
three years ago all my border life expenses were 300 euro per every month,
just because all the other money i was kindly given were spent on shopping.
acknowledgement of self-ability to throw the money from own`s roof is somehow,
secure. but in the very end, it just the same ability to make a 1 time paying instead
of 20.

we just made a discussion of how it is difficult to eat 10K lunch every day.)
...
aw, he bought me croissants. what a threat.
another soy latte and i am almost to go for another day.

they say, i grew to be kind of a scary one.
who knows, maybe. learned from the best.
outdone myself.

@темы: our morbidly pleasant place, joyful days, house at the end of the world

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среда, 15 января 2014
14:10

~about my still life.

be bad, be mine.
everyone once in a while needs a time for
redemption (no freaking way) calmness.

thus, i continue enjoying the art of writing letters.
supping my coffee, cuddling my ..whatever they`re.
i adore our winter all over again, when the sunsets are clean,
when the air bursts through your body along with cigarettes.
when you can dream about the short coming time at the sea.
or about how you go to Scandinavia for your summer vacation.
maybe, either George will get his mill in the very end or not?..
(catching up with Steinbeck)

and everything is charming.
as only January can ever be.

i already spent all the gold on shopping,
so now i can have my still life as it clearly is.)

@темы: in all its grandeur, dreams, we're dreaming, our morbidly pleasant place, joyful days

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вторник, 14 января 2014
08:16

~愛した（てゆか）男たちを思い出に替えて・・パターン。

be bad, be mine.
それでも、ある時は思ったけど・・
今までの長い間、恋人にするとして
私はほとんど間違ったことがない。
全人の間には多くいらっしゃるもん。
分かってるやん！恋の進み方など。
とも思ってて強く感じてきたんだー。

周りの人を混ざること出来ることは見事に素晴らしい。
縛られること望まずに、愛されること相変わらず必要。
正し、持つ関係に名前を付くのもたまに要件なことだ。
恋愛と愛情はまた違うんだが、二人で良ければ全てよし。

名前を付くと勘違いされることもあるし。

一人に愛情、恋愛、情熱ってきな感情を纏めるのは不可能。
それでも、関係にかかわらすに大事なことはいつも大事でー。

@темы: transparent poison, refined cruelty, aiseru

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07:14

~something about invincibility.

be bad, be mine.
hit the lights and i'll come crawling to your window tonight,
come on and send the sign
i'll be your dirty little secret
and you'll be mine.

you got me knock, knock knocking at your door
and i'll be coming back for more
we made a promise and we keep it
our dirty little secret.

by the way, it is so
one of the best songs about diversion, i have ever heard.)
yet there are legends, where even treason do come into romance:p

@темы: refined cruelty, aiseru, Jim and Jill:

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