четверг, 16 июля 2015
16:04

~fuck the rest, babe. fuck them all.

be bad, be mine.
they say, (i say?) even the best lovers usually luck at being good co-workers.)
i was not to choose, but if i had my way i would probably killed the temptation.
simply because despite my evil roots i often put heart before the rational thought.
those accidentally touchings, crossing hands, words, whispers, eyes and eyes again.
those moments, minutes, merging, learning, catching the shadows and being the one.

i got through the path of never learning how to respect and subordinate, follow orders.
maybe because, those before were just jerks and idiots and i would have rather shoot
than accept and seem to acquire help or advice. maybe, because i am somehow mm.
troubled? wretched? distorted? broken? messed up to the moon and back, i guess?..

but it is so easy to learn from who you know best.
that is why you know all the pauses and breaths and words, before they spoken.
and that is why you know how to oblige, listen and obey with all the eyes open..

i am happy to obey. do not get me wrong.
even without cuffs and kisses, i do accept.
the subordination as it comes my way.

being CEO does not mean, with you the top ends.
that is the lesson R. once and forever taught me back then.
...
but i am stressful and i am flawed.
when someone puts finger on my lover, despite or at work. i bite.
grab all the mistakes, needles, smiles and pin the person to the wall.

we beg to be professionals, here.
so why is that so hard to be objective and do not put emotions front.
no subordination taken, if someone goes bad on my bae babe
i just roar and crush and awr. no matter how professional they can be.

and i claim them to hell to my own connections and friends.
i prefer never to mix work and bed, but i am a great bartender.
i can make you a mix to die for, honestly.

you know, people want to believe in a better future
but so much often have more misses, than hits.

that is okay not to be honest, with me. or him. or even my lovely family.
just shut up and do the job to be done, that is for skills and money spent.
other is not asked, but also not forgiven.

let us sell.
let us make thousand contracts.
let us prosper.

@темы: dreams, we're dreaming, our morbidly pleasant place, 36 degrees, winds and senses

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четверг, 09 июля 2015
07:22

.

be bad, be mine.
am i a good person? hm, never.
am i a good ceo? by all means.

@темы: house at the end of the world, sur le soleil de satan

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07:17

~it is rainy season outside and we cuddle, cuddle, cuddle.

be bad, be mine.
night, i so much hate paperwork.
it just takes out of you all the time and nerves.
and the fucking rain just won`t stop falling down.
...
but i spent wonderful time at one of my offices today.
they served me coffee, talked about budget, calling somewhere.
finally gave me my spa card where i spent two astonishing hours.
in those milky bathes and steamy places. how i love this company.

i also love passionate people, those who can beautifully burn.
i hate the types who are rolling around the place, bragging loudly out
how they love this job, martyr for this job, get divorces, break homes.
for this job. because those who can not love, adore and be warmly,
hardly ever can succeed because all we do is keep trading. no matter.
what and what for. it can be goods, actions, emotions, something to
touch and something only to feel through. those who lack at feeling,
lack at trading. simply because they do not know how to catch between.

i think i am good at merging, i am a keeper, i pray at sex. honestly.
but having the darkest past, scrambled experience, many many faces.
more masks? made me good at trading, selling, exchanging the deals.
love is a deal. a promise. a secret, that you will not tell to anyone aside.
love is a merging. but every buying a new dress for me is a merging also.

it is impossible to teach those, who have no ability. have lesser skills.
it is all a great myth how you can rise yourself up from hell to bygones.
if you do not have it, it will not fall from above. if you have it, keep it hard.
just as simple as that. a short or longer way from A to B. other is not forgiven.

@темы: our morbidly pleasant place, house at the end of the world, commintment issues

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пятница, 26 июня 2015
10:53

~twenty six reasons to hold it.

be bad, be mine.
i can fall in love, come around, get married to someone else.
but there are just times, i so desperate want to lean on you.
we were not acknowledged, but had to be together at that time.
also did not have time to know each other better, go out properly.
i have so much on you, but sometimes it is just smoke and mirrors.
you are the most cruel, harsh and crazy person i ever been with.
and maybe, i would always see in you more of a brother, than lover.
although, you as well is one of the best lover i ever had. have. will.

you are the damnest entity in my family.
and i love you so. always so harsh on me.
but giving me sweets and cigarettes after.

i hardly ever wrote something about you.
because it is always something other in you, than partner.
but without you i could not imagine, how i have got this far.

probably, we do not show our feelings mutually.
but that is just so much of history between us
to store in a decades of the lifetimes, honestly.

@темы: house at the end of the world

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среда, 24 июня 2015
06:34

~and i'm going to extremes, tomorrow i will change and today won't mean a thing.

be bad, be mine.
25 i am. long live the Queen.
entered it in my favorite black lace dress with rose Freixenet.
got wasted, hugged, kissed, loved, cuddled for so many times.
i honestly melted down.

the past year brought me so much.
fell in love (twice?), started over (4 what it worth), wedged a war.
went to my first honeymoon, spent millions on.
my love`s, clothes, pearls, oils and treatments.
got stronger, more distorted, sharp and not mercy.
threw out everything that i did not need anymore.

whatever enough, they say.
for making me happy my house and family is enough.
again they say that it takes time to build castles.. m.
but my tribe, my clan, my besties are really to die for.
sometimes we fight, kill it, mess up and keep roll around.

but i love them so-so much.
i would not give up my hell for nothing else. i swear it.

amendments? oh, none.
adventures ahead of me?

well, listen what i want now.
1. castle built soon. (6mln)
2. jaguar in red (F-type) (1mln)
3. double honeymoon in Santorini.(20k?)

and probably for the first time in my life,
i did get married just because my partner is a hell mate for life.
i mean, whatever rumors are be sure, we will burn you all down.)

something is does eternal.

i'm a bitch, i'm a lover, i'm a child, i'm a mother.
i'm a sinner, i'm a saint, i do not feel ashamed.
i'm your hell, i'm your dream, i'm nothing in between.
you know you wouldn't want it any other way.

aw, i have a photo set on my b-day.
they put me on a giant poster with a dolphins to go around the J.

@темы: aiseru, 36 degrees, house at the end of the world, from 1 to 6

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пятница, 19 июня 2015
15:17

.

be bad, be mine.
sometimes i consider stranger things.
as if i would pleasantly do (rape?) my bus driver right now.
he is so careless and always gives me looks instead of hm..
looking at the road? so i just put my sunglasses on and on.
arw! and that way how he waves bye-bye and holds the mirror.
but some things just no good. because if you try them once,
try them twice there is no limit and Dr.stop won`t come around.

i mean, we ate all the apples in the house long ago.
but what tempts you most usually gives you the worst.
devil says.

i adore seducing people, all the way from zero to the ground.
but the process, the lines, the balancing are the greatest part.
when all is done you have either to throw it out or live with it.

ah, yeah.
i had the best honeymoon ever in may. <3.
wish i could revive it one more time in Bali.

i have my own whole bar to seduce people.
i am blessed.

@темы: our morbidly pleasant place, 36 degrees, apples and vinegars

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13:44

~silent games. suddenly.

be bad, be mine.
i do think that, sex is the easiest thing that comes around.
(still can be friends if the sex was right, someone sings..)
but eventually, the easier it comes, the harder it is to keep.
i mean, okay. this freaking world is literally based on those,
where i probably not like you this much but the nights are colder.
and not hate you is enough to make out, make dinner, make family.
romance is all out in the movies, but hardly exists and routine is all.
that is why humans keep sending the life behind the closed doors.
minus love plus stability equals usual.

the point is it always takes something more to project that feeling,
where you wake up next to someone and it is somehow little sad
that he has to go already. and if this feeling lasts two weeks more.
i am in love.)

every stairs are made of steps.
and who knows how two steps can make a long way up.

but my stupid friends keep dragging me in those failures.
well, i do not know.
love is easy. i am easy. my partners are easy to side with.

matrimony is all in your head.
stupid prejudiced.

@темы: our morbidly pleasant place, black and white

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11:49

~all you tonight.

be bad, be mine.
when i was younger, like 19?
i had so many easier solutions.

if my mood was bad and taken by despair,
i used to find a new lover, spend all the money,
change the name and feel devoted only to myself.

now it seems so different. i lost all my mercy.
but what does this matter if someone you chose
breaks his shift to lean by your side during work
just to ask: are we always gonna be together?

yeah, babe.
by all means we do.

and no matter how mind blowing is the sex afterwards,
the things you say and the way how you do it is just so.
young, simple, killing. i can not resist your bloodstream.

i promised myself never do drugs.
but i would do you everyday, love.

@темы: 36 degrees

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вторник, 16 июня 2015
06:25

.

be bad, be mine.
lately, i have been told by some messed-up troubled psycho. (i hate him nuts)
that if you make people around happy (blah blah blah) it would make a better.
the single circling thought aside from fuck off, could not cross my mind at all.
if i am happy, if my lover is happy, probably it is safe to say that we do not mind.
if all the world, including the psychos, judging troublemakers and all the garbage.
would burst in flames and cease to exist. because, the heart always comes first.

and the war, always comes second. but.
i can go around the scale in 9.6 seconds. and.
i will keep my tactics until they all do nigilate.

i am so bad at spending money.
but i am good at love and good at war.

bang-bang, you are dead.
put all the rumors to bed.)

@темы: our morbidly pleasant place, 36 degrees, house at the end of the world

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пятница, 12 июня 2015
10:49

.

be bad, be mine.
if you had been seducing me 36 times a day.
my answer would always have been why not?
i do not know how you ever doing it, babe.
you have the skills which i do not, maybe even more.

we are all dancing under the satin curtains.
but my heart always jumps way down as you come my way.

why?
i have seen so much, i deceived so many, i have my hell.

oh, please.
just keep hitting me back.

@темы: refined cruelty, aiseru, 36 degrees

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10:01

~she was bad, it was like oh well..(c)

be bad, be mine.
today i would raise my glass for new beginnings.
as i shreddered my contract with those hilarious idiots,
i expected to be coming through the choices as they come.
but, your home is always where your heart is.
and truth is always where those you love are.

i know clearly where my rloyalties lie.
and i would happily be devoted to death for what i believe in.

this world is sucked out of centered and validated as is it.
a lot of things are rotten and not what they seem at first.
when i started my work last year i knew it would be nasty.
but the money were good, and i believed in my authentic self.
the hell it worked. idiots went out of control, everything fell down.

flames, screaming, deceased hopes and long eternal goodbye.

here i say, never choose money first our of heart, but my.
every that who is human would, and those who ain`t, first.
another exclamation mark? never believe that someone,
who hit you once would become clear and less shitty person.
because people never change. and the end is always the same.

became tougher, stronger, smarter.
ready to go there, where i am needed and loved.
signed my new contract, became free and happy.

to be continued.
tie my hands before i burn this town(c)

@темы: raving all around, dreams, we're dreaming, our morbidly pleasant place

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четверг, 21 мая 2015
14:58

~be a pause between the beating of your heart.

be bad, be mine.
eventually, may is a month for the new changes..)
just got back home from Okinawa this monday.
it was such an awesome superb honeymoon that.
i already want to buy a house there as soon as.
probably, it is nice to know that you always have
an island to run for an a family to rely on in time of needs.

(long ago i used to have a lover. he was a bad lover, but great artist.
always wanted to circle himself with strange enormous people,
he could not actually truly rely on but thought he always would).

the point is i so-loved the place, i stayed in for a year and three months.
some ones were fools, some ones were bastards, some ones were garbage.
but apart all of that mountain of entities i am lucky to have found the ones,
i honestly got attached to with all my wretched heart. and they know i do.
my people, my carass.

that is why i still have a sad feeling about all that we had reached there.
that is why i still have a great happy feeling about how we make it go on.
without wars, without fights, without those who would be better shut down cold.
you do not have to share a blood to be a family and you do not have to be family
with someone, only because you share with them some past, memories or genes.
any of it can be canceled, wiped off, deleted and not restored anymore.

trust, reliance, love, acceptance is what i would always love to pay back.
i would never forget as much as a hand, given and a knife, shared both.
...
as to Okinawa, it is my real green developed paradise.
blue sea, depth of the oceans, so much shikwasha liquor, imo, runaways.
white sheets and light blankets, sand in my clothes, salty hands around me.
laughs, joy, sparkles, sex, wind in the hair, open spaces, neon lights, future.
i wish we could stay there all together, always. till the end of the very time.

you asked me once back, if i put my life on you.
of course, i do. promise, swear, sign with blood.
get ahold of what is left of my detached soul ahead.

please.

@темы: black swans, dreams, we're dreaming, our morbidly pleasant place, house at the end of the world, castle in the woods

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четверг, 09 апреля 2015
11:33

~estar lleno de recuerdos?

be bad, be mine.
and then they ask you if you want to die on board, being a CEO.
and for now i just want to lay in my manor and nothing else.
i have never been inspired for renovations, did not i tell you?

i enjoy my still wars just as that.

@темы: dreams, we're dreaming

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08:41

~sakura left overs at the driving alley.

be bad, be mine.
when i was a child i always wanted Lexus RX.
not that i were so much into SUV, just somehow
it gave me a sense of being protected and strong.)

then i started wanting Audi TT, 86, Porsche, Jaguar badly.
the latest one is happily living on the display of my phone.
though, i have been thinking about getting back to RC again.

the point is that it is somehow very pleasant to wake up in
the morning and know what you can find beside you. cause.
there were the darkest times, when i did not. or did not care.

stability is nice.
going up the whole circle is a toughest experience to burden.
but it is always nice to get back to the first point, knowing.
that you have been other places, seen other hearts, all of them
and you do not want them anymore because the one is enough.

maybe, i am happy to have found it while i am still twenty four.
...
now, today is a day off.
i have enough time to go through my never-ending closet.
sipping coffee, dreaming about Bali (my este is Balinese)
writing forgotten letters.. leaving all the financial markets out.
how i ever suppose to understand all their stocks and shares?

i do not like spring at all.
but if is a good feeling to merge into someone.

@темы: our morbidly pleasant place, 36 degrees, house at the end of the world

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вторник, 17 марта 2015
10:40

~Hell and Silence.

be bad, be mine.
take my side, i`m easy.(c)

you say, lover.
that we are already old, me and you.we.us.
to think about it, seems like the decades past.
and after the whole circle burned we are again
at the beginning of all, breaking the same lines.

you know exactly where my breath stops.
you know better than anyone what i loath most.
how could not you be perfect, partner?

if i am black, you are white.
but except there are no whites accepted.
it is where you double me with your black.

complete absorbation.

@темы: 36 degrees, house at the end of the world

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пятница, 20 февраля 2015
10:58

~you are always inside me.

be bad, be mine.
they say love, that
truth is rarely pure and never simple.

but every minute and every breath
i do know that you left something inside me.
somehow very far and deeply within myself.
you are so the part of my karass, to the core.

there are going to be more fights and more wars.
but let them come as they may.

i am aware that we will catch the win anyway.
any other way?
there is no division into black in white only these days.
but i would not mind any games to keep the way it is.

sometimes i am a little bit scared,
that if one day i would love to get you out of myself.
i would never know where to start without splitting out.
the heart, the soul, the body itself.

a tiny complete destruction for all eternity.
that what reminds me of how accurate we should be,
choosing the one to mate with.
...
spending 2K on things already.
and it feels good. so much good,
not as good as kissing you in the morning, tho.)

fight for me, love. fight for me where no one lives.
and i will fight for you always, till the end of times.

@темы: 36 degrees, house at the end of the world, to the core

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четверг, 12 февраля 2015
03:42

.

be bad, be mine.
it has been a half of a year.
and i am not tired at all of what we are doing.
loving, fighting, laughing, pushing our ways in.

you are so mine to the core, love.
i will never let you go.

@темы: our morbidly pleasant place, 36 degrees

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понедельник, 02 февраля 2015
10:14

~before the spring comes.

be bad, be mine.
eating avocado sandwiches, thinking about nothing.
choosing new set ups, Loewe antique bags and fur.
lazily brushing up my Spanish, even though i would
prefer spend the rest of the day in bed, in awaiting for.

watching the last episodes of Maison Close.
love it, love French which i perfectly understand.
love the house. w

they ask me if i ever feel blue these days.
and i answer, that no i do not. how could i?
he literally never takes his eyes off me.

why do i even complain?
...
February is lazy to kill.
i am just breathing in and breathing inside.

..no hay errores en tu ser.

@темы: in all its grandeur, 36 degrees, house at the end of the world

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пятница, 23 января 2015
15:39

.

be bad, be mine.
oh, boy.
you are a couple of thousands years younger than me.
and yet you made me love you so madly blowing away.

it is just.
the thoughts in you are all so similar to mine.
your night inside completely shares the same.

if we were not lovers,
being alike that much for good
i would have probably killed you. w

but.

it always takes one to know another.
and i am glad that i did, back. then.)

@темы: 36 degrees, house at the end of the world

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вторник, 20 января 2015
12:14

~con affetto.

be bad, be mine.
it has been 7 years, my dear Francesca.
but i could never forget the old family, that i once had.
you are still the Princess of Novarese. and me. myself?
i changed so many titles, partners and wars since then.

but you know, it feels just the same. like the old times.
when i write you those feelings, i always keep inside me.
you, Giulia, Victoria, Ilaria, Eugenio..

i remember you all promising, that i would come soon.
walk through Firenze and absolutely visit the North.
go Novara, go Milan, finally perfect my Italian to read Calvino..
making myself a lot of oaths that i would always choose Italy.

but there are so many promises, that i had not kept.
sleeping with ghosts, sleeping with demons, dreaming out
how nice it would be to walk through Granada this time of year.

but no matter what times have past.
thus i love you just as much.

@темы: transparent poison, violated rainbows

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