rute de la muerte. — @дневники: асоциальная сеть

вторник, 18 января 2011

11:00

~sleeping with ghosts on the moon shores.

be bad, be mine.

censored
speaking of which.
i did show myself out the night before.

calling on the central mansion in the middle of the night almost,
crying out something about salvation and *my tooth hurts!!!
dosomethingdosomethingdosomething right away please please*

honestly it can be seen as implying the fact i can be saved outside the home.
that this person can save me in the middle of the night (he did answer shortly)
the problem is, if you ask me what was the point, there was no point at all.

i am just saying, he will save me anyway. so you can rest away.
but indeed you would not love me to be saved even in this little case.
because salvation drugs us into the most unbreakable liasons ever.
we come to be owing. we owe. we pay back for that with deeper liason.
you would not love me to make it more excessive, right?

so save me before i call him to save. always.

he was like that even before he touched me.
if you ask me why, i dont actually know why.
but some secrets we dont ever give away, right.

he keeps his, i keep mine.

but i adored to know, you are good at being god.
crossing the humans destinies, fates, lives and hearts.
only you being that cynical towards humans, can do it.
dont mind my little desirable problems, he will have my back.
and you are so easily tired of solving my little human details.

気にしなくてい、別に。大丈夫だから。

you make people sell their love, pay for that highly.
no wonder, you want me to sell mine own illusions.
but i will make it beautifully and refined.

i hate being cruel and not refined. i love to deceive.
deception is something, we create out of ourselves.

この感じー

@темы: emerald shadows, refined cruelty, those, who obtained the first sunrise, dreams, we're dreaming, bloodstrains

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понедельник, 17 января 2011

13:10

.

be bad, be mine.

好きだって、別にいわなくていんだよ。
でもそこまでナデナデあげるから・・・
気になるんじゃないのだろうか？

お前のためいい子でいてあげるいつも。

でも“愛してる”じゃなくて
お前だけの特別でいたい

@темы: emerald shadows, aiseru, blue lights of lust, bloodstrains

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09:38

～清潔な血の俺達・

be bad, be mine.

every time i wake up, i think about how i love this land.
we have been talking a lot about this with Ryu recently.
when you love so much that do not need anything else.
when you can turn off all the 海外 apart of this very place.
probably, that is what is called to be devoted to your home.

but, i was promised NY for the next Christmas and Paris in June.

just to be.
...
when i saw your blood on my hands, it just went without saying
asking, what kind of blood is that?

yours is purer than mine, you know.
but that makes me adore you even more.

i have been wondering why the ones, with such a pure blood,
are falling so far and so fast. why they prefer being not clean.
in so many ways to contrast with their pure blood. i wonder,
why. if i gave all my secrets away to the society, for sure is.
汚すぎる　is how it can be defined. but humans are strange.
i have been developing the others definitions of being clean.
definitely, not that little beautiful and cruelly refined sins of us.

誰のー？

it is easy to share if we talk about bodies. i will share.
if is even more easier to define love in the different terms.
but at times, you are using the same words towards me,
i would love to think about making you meet one day too.
when i decide to end the world or when i become way wiser,
i will arrange the meeting, maybe

bro is awesome to make the conclusion that if i have money,
i will prefer to spend my time spending them then go to the
c/ mansion. logically it is complete. i dont go there when i
feel too much happiness hence in the searching for salvation.
when i buy clothes, i feel happiness. if i have money, i can
buy clothes and drink starbucks coffee. and it hell works, yes.

for a while, respectively.

though, begged bro for the fur *-------*
rabbits are so cute, being the coats. happy new year <3
i am not sure it is not something else anyway, but cute.
desired. granted. my desires here come true in an instant.
and i dont have to make something excessive for that even.
only, commit less sins. a little bit less sins. capable of that.

sometimes i think my lust is weaker than my clothes addiction.

@темы: emerald shadows, prince and princess, dreams, we're dreaming, our morbidly pleasant place, bloodstrains

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09:10

~dreams, we are dreaming.

be bad, be mine.

全部やめた、これほしい笑

6 000 000 円。

うける！

@темы: northern lights, dreams, we're dreaming

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суббота, 15 января 2011

17:52

.

be bad, be mine.

~ my tooth is finally fucking hurts.
15 000 yen will be throwing into nothing, great.
and tis sunday tomorrow where no one works.

*jisatsu wish*

~

that is what i want! finally decided.
500 000 yen. pretty much cheap indeed. *--*
i am promised to obtain this baby as soon as.
(German cars are the best cars, probably?)
i gave up even Porshe. なんとなくなんとなく

license is めんどい　but i will make it work

~ postcrossing from Japan is LOVE.
UK, Finland, whatever else. 9-10 days.
mission impossible if we talk about russian post.

now its really a paradise to participate.

~ i want sashimi, half price at 1 am rules.

running towards supermar, bro is sleeping )

@темы: in all its grandeur, our morbidly pleasant place

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12:06

.

be bad, be mine.

yay-yay, and i was aked to bring him home.
i dont even want to imagine what happen, when these two meet.
i just hope, it never will happen in the nearest some years :O

that is too absurd. just no way. at any case.

i would rather stand in front of the mirror for hours.

・・・という約束をしているんです。

...
we are going back to Hakodate in the beginning of feb.
one hour by plane, yet ..plane in the very end >.<
ちゃんと飛んでくれるって信じたいんだよっ

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10:59

.

be bad, be mine.

ほかの人とそんなにやりたいの？
じゃ、仕方ないね。許してあげる。がんばってー

かわいそうなこだろな、わたし。
ごめんじゃないけど、やはりしかたないね？

生まれて変わっても、変わんないかな？

もしかして、人間の近くなりすぎ。
いつからなんだが、わからんー

やめてならない。

今度血は汚くなっても、この命は最後までがんばりたい。
最初きたきりそういう約束を変わる事は絶対しないわ。

別に、いいんだよ。私の汚いこと。
シャワー浴びる、シャワー。

なんとか治すってきがして。

@темы: those, who obtained the first sunrise

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10:43

~maccha latte (very green indeed).

be bad, be mine.

it quite hurts to return to the 元へ.
it takes so much to be restored.

for example, i have been given 30 000 yen (and Chanel sunglasses as bonus (40 000?) w)
already spent a half of that on clothes and bags and something i dont think i even need

but bro knows best of all, how to take away the stress, we both each other stupidly caused.

the very blue waves of Odaiba, cheese-cheese pizza,
two complects of rose letter sets and orange bubbles.
black and rose butterflies, also.

sweet and calm <3.

@темы: embracing the heart, crowned with snow, dreams, we're dreaming, our morbidly pleasant place

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09:26

~caffe latte?

be bad, be mine.

recording the tape on reverse.

\\\

Starbucks Dark Frappuchino is something to die for, though <3

@темы: transparent poison, aiseru, those, who obtained the first sunrise

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07:39

~if i could obtain it all, i would be all right.

be bad, be mine.

thats quite a very old story about apples and temptations.
nothing in this life (and any other lives) will make break my oath.
but i know, that there are promises that i will break if giving now.
very human promises. very human affections. probably, at latest.
i will learn how to fix this tangles of mine within, but now i dont.
i dont know how. and i wont be deceiving you because i swore it.
we can make it legal, we can turn it back to the unforgivable sin.

but i know, i will be doing that.
just, in the terms of sin i will be feeling pain.
you will be feeling even much more pain too.

なんでもくれても、やれる。
できないことはできないこと。

i know, i make you sad.
i am so sorry about this.
but you had to know what it is.

probably, i will be crying every time.
when you say 許してあげてるよ。

that is so not human, that is just us.
forgive me that place, i dont call home.
forgive me what i have done and will do.

forgive me what humans never forgive.
they never forgive, but we are different.
forgive me my blood on someones hands.

probably, that is the only thing i beg you for.
or do tie me down to the bed with handcuffs.
this will do as well.

i cant give up this place, i cant give up myself.
at this stage, forgive. then i will forgive myself.

@темы: transparent poison, aiseru, those, who obtained the first sunrise

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вторник, 11 января 2011

08:56

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be bad, be mine.

there is an awesome difference between someone, who
cant hold and someone, who prevents himself from holding.
in the latter case its latent and can be worked out in years.
believe me, the one who is ready to share the half of his bed,
half of his food and all his time is not the one who cant hold.
if you were able to see yourself, you would have been amazed.

i was amazed greatly.

in general, these are like sweets on the shelves.
when you know, you can take them anytime and
eat, but you wont because you know its not that.
you eat one sweet every day or something like it.
you can eat everything at once, but will it be good?

if the door of this house is opened for me always.
does that mean, i will be going there every day?
nope.

but i have some temptations about eating all the sweets
at once to work out and become used to the limitations,
hence the source of happiness <3

@темы: emerald shadows, embracing the heart, in all its grandeur, blood connected

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00:57

.

be bad, be mine.

i can not be judged, misunderstood or blamed for this.
but if you tell me - i want you to stop doing that, i stop.
honestly, stop. but we both know, it will lead to the point,
where instead destroying the outer world, i will destroy in.

if i come to destroy inside, i wont keep this home. ねー
the only possible cure from my eternal mess is balance.
that person gave me that. nothing other ever matters at.

in comparison to my oath, it is nothing.
but it is somehow making me whole enough.
that person ties my hands down when i want
to burn everything down. give him that, please.

that is something, only someone like him could do.
something, damn very human. and taste of cruelty.
yes, i was imbalanced. but i knew from the start -
i wont be asking you about this. because tis human.
...
i have been there, i have returned from there.
i have seen so many people, wasted and burned..
i have seen them higher and i have seen them down.
i know how it looks like, when you dont the hell care.

you care.
probably, you are morbidly pride, egoistic, overconfident.
able to break easy enough, able to make me beg and cry.
able to make my pride burn out in a glance.

but you are not wasted and never will be.
i have seen your eyes deep down enough.
people like you, rule. order. obtain the all.

probably, for the price of keeping themselves from love.

it is not a play for the play, meaningless and lame.
it is quite of a dollmaking, my friend. water and water.
water always tries to obtain water.

i can give up in that, i will. your eyes totally worth it.
...
and i will see you in ten years,
i know where you will be.
i will be near. always near.

真面目な人ー

君がいると・・・

私がいるとなんだろね。

@темы: refined cruelty, in all its grandeur, those, who obtained the first sunrise, blood connected

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понедельник, 10 января 2011