and.
i want Sophie on my wedding.
probably, that is the only person i so desperately want.
without even the definite reason for this, i am gonna
even present the ticket money of 100 000 yen. indeed.
i love when my wishes come true. i miss this girl

today i finally bought myself a new beautiful mug!
i can not live without buying new mugs as bro can
not live without eating his lovely potato. that is it.
wanted to buy the one with beautifully designed S.
(comes for sex) in terms of our name, of course.
we are so ditinguishly proud of our name, to think about it.

and i even managed a pair of awesome leopard shoes.
(photos come afterwards) i do follow the fashion here.)
because it is breathtaking indescribably cool.
...
ginger vanilla iced tall coffee is indescribably cool too.
...
as expected from, bro is icy cruel to a social differences.
i am actually good. tomorrow i am going to go drink with
Erica and some shady guys in Shimokita, and we really
leading a very simply life, loving it, sometimes. but maybe
what defines us is our social position in a society like this.
today bro cruelly laughed at some guys, obviously with no
money and was doing it pretty loud. i do not think it is bad.
i am doing the same even towards people, i know.

sometimes i think, how would i was thinking, being there.
keeping not the status i keep. but i always ending with
the thought, that this happening to me is out of logics.
mansions, money, aristocracy. the highest possible level.
i do not remember, i knew something other in my life.
Oliver taught me how to go low. a very useful great skill.

aw, i see now where is the 原因 of my love to low profiles.

bro today pointed out about *Keio Canon*
minding my outstanding love to guys from there.
he knows, my love is much about collecting love.
that i collect people without minding their souls.
just because of Keio. the situation with Ryu was
messful cos i pretty much fell out of the game and
lost the every control of the situation i could have.
but even with that bro now joking bout it.
collecting can not be justified. in general.

that is minding my dating schedule on march.
it is been a while, i am actually going out to dates.
always is being called out, though.

that is fun. at least if you are not asked to marry
fun is fun. i am using people such greatly at my please.
we both are....
i want to go to Disneyland and horse riding sooner! <3
hopefully, march we will reach both of that.

and i want piano. my connections promised me one.
and i am going to ask Yuki to pass me into his school,
where he works bcause i am sure there is some piano.
i am dying within without it, honestly.

@музыка: andrew belle -in my veins-

@темы: emerald shadows, down to amalgamation, refined cruelty, crowned with snow

i failed my favorite sisters birthday on her 23.
because bro again used the magic words of
こっち来て、ちょっと抱きしめるだけー。
10 hours, not going anywhere except the bed.
adorably abnormal as always.

but it feels like i could lay like that another eternity.
(and again, that is just so sad that i am always crying.)
bro is saying, i cry momentally, recalling the old times.

i am so sensitive to this, my.
i can cry the ocean out, thinking only about how the paths
do not cross and what we sacrifice to complete the search.
i am completely absorbed in him now.
...
tomorrow is frappuchino, a new pair of leopard shoes,
new magic cup and some wonderful letter sets to buy.
and monday i promised Erica to go with her to the bar.
cause she wants to make some 紹介 of me to friends.
i am just so godlike, that everyone likes me.

using bros words, respectively.

Bri is coming to Granada next year.
i should arrange my greatest europe trip fot that as well.
Italy, Spain, France, Germany, Holland this time for sure.
and i want Prague and San Francisco too.

probably, i am doing this alone without bro. (;つД｀

@темы: sapphire sky, embracing the heart, dreams, we're dreaming, our morbidly pleasant place

@музыка: ...

@темы: transparent poison, refined cruelty

@темы: emerald shadows, refined cruelty, crowned with snow, dreams, we're dreaming, our morbidly pleasant place

i can not believe this spring i will finally see 桜
and tis already +20 outside **
...
this week we have to write an essay about
*how we met, fell in love and managed Home*
for the immigration, respectively.
bro is writing. making up the wonderful story.
we tried to write together but it ended in a mess.

the way how we communicate usually --
is not adopted to be understood by human beings.

頼んだのと違うんですけど・・・

as well could have been the title of that.
if we were really 真面目に、
we would have writen about hamburgers, sex and obsession.
as far as we could not write about eternity, gods and 時流れ、
that is very 真面目に。

but the most difficult for us is to think in the human terms.
i want a manual of *how human beings create the true* love*
because we are failing obviously.

i have to remember dozens of answers on possible questions.

@темы: aiseru, prince and princess, dreams, we're dreaming

@темы: vampires, crowned with snow

@темы: emerald shadows, aiseru, our morbidly pleasant place

my marriage present to bro, managed for 300 yen in a crane game.
it is just super cute, hum **
(back up is probably the thing i hate the most in our home.
200 000 Hitachi TV. >**<



i just loved the color.
i could not describe how awful it actually feels.

@темы: dreams, we're dreaming, our morbidly pleasant place

@темы: down to amalgamation

...
every time (not so often, not so much left)
i made my way to the russian embassy,
there is always a chance to praise myself.

because i look at these women,
very very russian, showing off humans -
with children or with no children anyway.
and silently pity them all advancebly yes.

praising myself for the fact that
i did better than my best in amalgamation.
well my family says, i am naturally japanese.
so there is not much to be moarning about.

but still, i did better than my best for that.
at least, for remembering. for being back.
sometimes even if you have capacity of.
it is not enough to make it from latent to live.

i am going to repeat it with every my day.
i am proud to be Japanese.
i love my land, i remember my customs.
i will be a good girl to remember Heian.

as my mother yesterday said -
we live in the land, separated from the whole world.
that is why, probably all the world is being envious.
of our happiness. of our 平和. of only our dear world.

even if i can not become like this woman in the future,
i still want to become like she in a lot of things **
she is beautiful and strong. i respect her greatly.
...
being traced back to the question why am i not
choosing the path of someone with Keio, status, money.
why am i not having patience for feelings and contracts.
wanting to be with someone like me, even though it can
not lead me to the first line. to the highest aristocracy.

i am a child, i am not a queen.
hence, i prefer to be the little princess.
i prefer to be forgiven for my sins n all.

being there, i will loose my chance to commit sense.
to commit a mess. restricted to gawns and meetings.
my mum says i will fail myself, if not make a good match.
but i never needed it in the first place, respectively.

i want always to be able to play low. to be able to do that.
that is my lowest human sinful nature, it can not be erased.
bro forgives me everything until i keep my oath. that is it.

but if we both play better, we can be on the second line.
not so bad. mansion in the central Tokyo, mansion on the seaside.
couple of mansions in the countryside we can always be back to.
that is a life to be quite desired to live. most of the people have no
skills, pride and characters to live. we are not being sad about the
fact we will not be able to buy ourselves a mansion for 100 million yen.
we are good with 50 million. yups. the second line, not the first one )

the second line has the greatest pros for commiting sins.
imperial palace will not cover this little desired ability.
to play low and harsh at my please. i am taking that.

we have been together from the first sunrise.
long enough not to care much about social positions.
yet, we keep a sweet one.

my family is so exciting about the wedding.
so i have no choice but to call them all, seems like
bro still does not tell anything about it to his excessively
wonderful friends from the stage (i am making profit of it!)
making the surprise out of it and out of me.

but the nearest wedding is July.
i wonder, how much big of surprise i can be to them all.

<3.
...
just thought about the fact that in case with Naoki we did
make water and water work. in the very end it took two years,
but hell it is legendary even now, the bonds we managed then.
at least for my family, which using our names in a set >\\\\\<
thinking now, how did i make it? 適当？i do not quite tell.
indeed, it was without realizing, pretty much on a shamrock.
but as expected, it is perfect and eternal and never to be passed.
i wish　適当方法　worked in the case of Ryu as well back then.
but fuck fuck fuck, that is what you get for using half hearts )

at least, the prove of the fact that it is possible,
gives the way to try again and try to be better on sides.)

here we are, longing for perfection.

but enough.
i got from brother 1000 yen in the morning, so i am going little shopping.
mysteriously 50 000 yen already disappeared in a short timing t/month.
aaaaaaaaaaaa.

@темы: down to amalgamation, embracing the heart, crowned with snow, dreams, we're dreaming