воскресенье, 13 марта 2011
16:28

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be bad, be mine.
bro fixed the gas, we can have shower again *yay!*
i am moderately eating the canned tuna we bought.
they say, we will have another earthquake in three days.
intension, 7 predictably. (even more fucked up)

i do not want bro to go anywhere and hold my hand.
even though, tomorrow i am definitely in hope to buy
some clothes and manage the white day with chocolate.

bro says if Fukushima will meltdown, we will run to the south.

yay.

@темы: our morbidly pleasant place

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14:31

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be bad, be mine.
we are not panicking.
we just bought all the canned tuna we could find.

・ﾟ・(つД｀;)・ﾟ・

@темы: our morbidly pleasant place

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10:38

~rose petals and sea breeze.

be bad, be mine.


i love them. they are so funny w



and we actually have already five Hello Kitty bunnies *0*

@темы: embracing the heart

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09:20

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be bad, be mine.
yeah, Tokyo is stable.
i just wonder why there is nothing in the supermarkets,
including juice and canned tuna in the first place. hum.
and why bro is texting me about buying as much tuna as i can.

omg.

@темы: our morbidly pleasant place

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06:28

~on the innerside.

be bad, be mine.
i am watching the news every day,
looking how the numbers of dead and went nowhere
people are increasing. (2800 +- 20000 people for now).
and it is quite scary to watch the ships on the roofs,
and the houses, which ended their existence in pieces.
and one word, the scariest one - 間に合わない。

i believe, Fukushima wont meltdown in the very end.
as bro is saying, that is already enough for them.
there are already no people there, survived. enough.
who knows.

i have someone, who can not reach their relatives there.
i have my family, still exctatically paniking about all this.
i am still watching these news. 見た感じで避難できない。

Tokyo is being back to its life already.
the ground is still shaking (for another two weeks?)
but it is not such a big deal. compairing to the north.

i will stay and survive )
that is why donuts and shopping today.

@темы: in all its grandeur, our morbidly pleasant place

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суббота, 12 марта 2011
18:14

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be bad, be mine.
i will never say this to you because it is a weak point of me.
but now i am complete.

all that abyss, i tried to make out of the void within myself.
was because you were not by my side.

is the one half of the apple still an apple?

@темы: crimson snowflakes, refined cruelty

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18:12

~the light, we keep on believing in.

be bad, be mine.
belle,

i hope you are in one piece seeing you're online.
i wish you're safe amidst the tragedy that hits japan.

how long has it been since my last letter/email reached you?
i've forgotten. time is not on my side.

i'll write you soon in the old fashioned way.
need to gather my thoughts and summon all those words thats been hiding beneath the silence.

stay and survive.

-oliver
...
it is been a year and a half, Oliver.
i have been always waiting for you to be back.
even knowing, you might never come back to.
as always, i am nodding my head down in front of you.

if i have loved you humanly, my heart would have exploded now.
but since we adjusted this part, i am feeling your presence within.
it is going through me, you are me. we are of the same kind, you.
and i.

the little girl, who granted a soul to her master.

i will tell you about the way, i managed until now.
so you can be proud of me.

@темы: crimson snowflakes

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пятница, 11 марта 2011
23:59

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be bad, be mine.
these news are depressing, もうみたくねぇ。

all we can do is to keep living as usual.
that is why today i am planning to date with bro
even if the sky falls down on our blessed country.

もういや。生き続きまーす。
...
i just wonder how it was
inside monorail at the time of that.
or on the sky deck of Roppongi Hills.
or in the plane, ready to be taking off.

maybe i have to take it for granted. more easily
earthquake? my, we have it every year, heaps.
nothing of a big deal.

that is my bro の考え方。
pretty much clever to keep the same one.

as now, bro is advising me to enjoy Prince of Persia
cause i somehow can not sleeping alone cos it is still
shaking (and continue shaking with little shakings w
for another i do not know how long)

fuck with that. going to enjoy my breakfast.
and Prince of Persia.

@темы: vampires, embracing the heart, our morbidly pleasant place

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19:50

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be bad, be mine.
how ridiculous is to think that i might leave Japan.
and return to the place, i deeply and sacredly hate.
we are together once and forever, in the times of joy.
in the times of sadness. even more - in the times of the last.
my country and i. we are going through and become stronger.
...
仙台は終わった。
bro is cynically joking about the end of the world*, happening.
he indeed managed a three hour way home from Shibuya and
i happily was crying about this fact. he even laughed my 10 sec
coming outside from the house. (indeed, he managed in 5 sec w)
we are abnormally skillful in saving our own lives. excessively, ne.

i am relieved, we are not living on the coast (my eternal still dream)
yet, i am in hope that our central mansion is not washed away *(
already about 1000 people were washed away ・ﾟ・(つД｀;)・ﾟ・

i think, Tokyo is good. it stayed and it will stay.

by the way i am good in timing, not going shopping to Shibuya today XD
i so wanted, but bro assured me to go shopping together tomorrow.
that is why i was playing Prince of Persia when the earthquake came.

safe XD.

but probably, yes. it is interesting to see how houses are being washed
away and counting how many people died and wish all the trains stopped
so you do not have to go to work anymore when you are together and safe.
it is kinda different, when you are separated and can not reach by phone.

but we have our luck in being safe. or so we think.

@темы: embracing the heart, crowned with snow, our morbidly pleasant place

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15:42

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be bad, be mine.
bro is saying that is not good if a young lady like me すぐ泣く。
but i can not help it, i am always crying since i come home.
because that is the only thing i can do. cry. cry even more.
i have so much to lose in a proportion when you can not live.
when you do not want to live anymore.

we are always that much laughing at those, who are following this way.
but honestly. i can precisely describe conditions when i do the same.

今日は。。。つらかったんだ。

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14:16

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be bad, be mine.
i have to do something calming and drink my green tea.)
assuming that all the telephone lines are wonderfully dead.
by the short notice from bro i assume as well that he will
be coming back home on foot as soon as JR is dead as well.

no, you do not know what means JR is dead = Tokyo is dead.

as soon as possible i want the usual days to return.
where you can walk nights, drink ice mocca coffee
and win lemon bunnies in games, laughing and loving.

yet, it is not the end.

@темы: embracing the heart, our morbidly pleasant place

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10:11

~maginitude 8.8.

be bad, be mine.
i am just so scared.
...
it is when you cry because the mail is delivered after three hours.
feeling relieved.

thanks Night, we are in Tokyo where we are out of tsunami at least.
safe this time and keep living.

@темы: our morbidly pleasant place

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07:02

~behind the shadows.

be bad, be mine.
maybe you'll know when you see it,
maybe if you say it, you'll mean it
and when you find it, you keep it
in a permanent state.

@темы: down to amalgamation

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четверг, 10 марта 2011
09:35

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be bad, be mine.
was just wondering, when we finally いかげんにしろ
and become going out to the beautiful candle-wine
restaurants in more beautiful evening gowns instead
of sharing the simplicity in morning family restrants.
but then i just think, まいいや。褒めることは一番だ。

<3.

@темы: aiseru, prince and princess

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среда, 09 марта 2011
11:17

~you and i hanging around, lads who`ve got childish names.

be bad, be mine.
maybe, it is something nice to hear
maids on the streets, calling you beautiful )
...
bro is showing off a rare will to go to the sea tomorrow.
quite surely i am going to play along with that intention.
it is been around half a year, not doing this thing. rare.

and yup-yup tomorrow is 金の日。
i can absolutely write a book (manual guidance)
about how to spend excessive amount of money
in one day even if you do not feel like that XDD

@темы: embracing the heart, dreams, we're dreaming, our morbidly pleasant place

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09:15

~the heart of the ocean.

be bad, be mine.
sometimes i think, i miss Ryu like hell.
not actually his amazing personal being, in general.
where there is nowhere to fall, it feels like vacuum.
where something important is missing, where you
are missing out something, you think is meaning.

it is not that i can not (not) live without it, just.
when i am living in 正しい criteria it feels wrong.

i write my name with きよい。purity.
i so much hate to be on the path of righteousness.
that even without commending, i go somewhere else.

and it is not even about sex, in the first place.
that is about surprising love for trash, which is not
(shoud not) come along with the status, i somehow
keep.

i have everything, people usually only dream of.
status, money, connections, whatever else ever.
i am eternally loved and love back in the same terms.
i have my home to treasure. and i have my family, yes.

why can not i avoid going low? excessively low.
with my affection for decayed souls and beings.
that is not that beatiful. that is just decay as it is.
harsh. painful. something that definitely 傷つく。

probably, that is blood.
in this way or another aiming for the self-destruction.

つづく・・・

@темы: transparent poison, those, who obtained the first sunrise

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08:52

~something, that can be granted.

be bad, be mine.
today Tokyo had a morning earthquake (5/8?)
bro is saying, that was pretty much tremendous.
i did not feel anything, though :O

i wonder, how succesful will be my personal breaking through.
and what is the percentage of it changing into a simple breaking )
Japan is amazing in being so ひどい with making お知らせ。
only one word is coming - accepted. declined. i already told
bro, that i definitely have a strong 気持ちの問題 to watch it.
i just wont be able to turn the card on the other side to read.
in the other words, i simply want to avoid an immediately
coming heart attack. there is nothing that can make me worry.
i am perfect. bro is perfect. we are perfect together.

but about 1000 people come to the immigration every day.
and only 300 of them are able to actually stay where they want to.
yesterday i saw the eyes of these people - that is the strongest n
inpenetrable despair. all of them were so indescribably scared.
that in some way i also felt this fear. dependable and huge fear.

i love my country greatly. i am proud of my country.
i think that my counrty is the best ever in the whole world.

the question is, how strong my country loves me back.

@темы: down to amalgamation, refined cruelty

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вторник, 08 марта 2011
05:41

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be bad, be mine.
my dear Night,
if you consider me being woman at least in my half,
give me all the luck in the world in this wonderful day.
because (fuck fuck fuck!) in this day of all
the rose and white flowers the immigration is stated.

AAA.

i am scared like hell even being me.
it is simply allmighty, the power there.

だれかたすけてぇぇぇー。

@темы: refined cruelty, our morbidly pleasant place

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понедельник, 07 марта 2011
11:08

~longing for perfection.

be bad, be mine.
once upon a time i wrote here -
*it would be so amazing if one day i will be said the same.
i would be so proud of this fact, hence so proud of myself.
i would spread out my happiness onto this sinful world!*

the day has come, when i am so often told -
日本人と変わらない。

the times, when i accepted this with the blessed grace, passed.
now i am just proud. of the way, i managed in such a short time.

we are of the same blood, you and i.

@темы: down to amalgamation, refined cruelty

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10:12

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be bad, be mine.
there is something nice in morning datings.
calming atmosphere, nice stuff who will pour you coffee
until you can not drink anymore, and just two cigarettes.
i am adoring, how bro is sponsoring me with money so
that i can take these datings freely when i feel like that.
honestly, i feel bad being married and not paying for this.
something feels wrong ;D amazing, i am still having among
my people someone, graduated from Todai successfully )
aiming just for morning breakfast in a family restaurant ;bb
...
i want that vanilla bunnie.
i spend thousands of yens on crane games. my gods.

@темы: emerald shadows, shimmery light, crowned with snow, our morbidly pleasant place

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