пятница, 07 января 2011
18:13

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be bad, be mine.
i was deadly crying today.
night knows, what was the real origin --
unicorns or the central mansion actually.

but the mail came just with a perfect timing.
it eased me both.

今から綺麗な夜をー

@темы: dreams, we're dreaming

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18:06

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be bad, be mine.
today i was eating tuna and egg sandwiches with coffee
and wanted to believe in all the rose unicorns in the world.
following the sad question, why wont you 声出す for me
tonight? i would said, the unicorns take a lot of my time.
i have a shamrock in my blood, i cant be that unlucky.
fuck, no. not now, at least.

we discussed with bro my possibility (not realizing)
to work in 性俗. i love this stuff a lot, i know it great.
but gods see, i would be burned out in one week yup.
not to mention that i hate random unsweet randomness.
it is gonna be something less risky for my eternal health.
i know i would never done this, but i love to talk about it.
i love to know that we can talk about it freely anytime.

today was the last day of the BARGAIN. i stroke down
the streets of Shibuya, in a desperate search of something.
we have no place for clothes anymore and i am really fed up
with buying one, so i ended up with just one great long coat.
in our terms of fashion for 4000 yen. bro gave me 1500 for fun,
so i managed to change into yen everything that i kept before:O

gonna take my sadness-present money from Ryu.
and buya green kettle, aha. we need a kettle home!
i cant live without hot tea anymore to think about it.

yeah, seems like everything is much 平和。
central mansion is on monday and 7:1, i will mess it up again.
but who cares, i love it. i adored that place in the first place yes.
i am happy with mu life in its whole.

just, this nausea is frustrating.
and i wake up everyday at 4 am cos of bro. yay-yay.

two good things for today -
sending cards is actually 70 yen each so i am in again <3
my 15 kg clothes came here and yeah yeah yeahs great.

by the very way, 1 kyu class is awesomely fucked up :D
in a good meaning. that is the level, i was longing for long.
i am satisfied. and i do enjoy the class, speaking honestly.
just getting up at 4 am and このままー＞・＜

@темы: emerald shadows, refined cruelty, crowned with snow, dreams, we're dreaming, our morbidly pleasant place

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01:23

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be bad, be mine.
i will never be able get used to the thought,
that bros clothes is high ways cooler than mine :O
thats why i am wearing it, respectively www
gods, how cool is it *=*

to think about it, people who are leading night life hundred times stylish.
indeed, we have our adorable hosts for that. they can be fucked up much,
but at least they know about style greatly and thats where respect comes
from.

school probably now?
even though i am feeling the bothering bad nausea ///
bro believes in the rose unicorns in this case, i am not.
i never not until its not actually. fails are so everywhere.

but it would have been a funny beginning of the year.

@темы: crowned with snow, our morbidly pleasant place

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четверг, 06 января 2011
14:20

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be bad, be mine.
the best holidays are the ones, spent in the beds.
without any doubt.

i dont even have a wish to go see the winter sea.
how awesome is that, i wonder.

@темы: emerald shadows, aiseru, prince and princess

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14:12

~chocolates and strawberries.

be bad, be mine.
well, probably i stop writing for a while what i am writing about.
i am messed up like hell, yet and ever and dont quite find a way
how to be out of this for now, so probably yes i just stop bothering.
until next week, next mess and next regrets about what is going on.
...
being back to everyday, yet amazing nonsense --
today we finally managed our way to Meiji Shrine for 初詣,
and it was the first time when i got my number one prophecy.
it never lies you know. it just never lies, no matter what it is.

i wont be able to manage the way till the end, being messed up.
i do have to purify my mind from all the mess, which is literally
saying, is judged by society and the whole meaning of rightshisness.
and for now i dont have pride for that because my pride has passed off.
i am sunk in the greatest deception in my whole life and that is very it.

i have my winter to be out of it, somehow. and i will be.
now i am wretched and out of the line of moral far away.
and i didnt tell about that even if i should have to.
...
the other wondering way to live through these days is BARGAIN.
not bargain, but BARGAIN. because its awesomely cheap and all.
already managed myself a pair of breathtaking leather white boots.
and since i get my new year money tomorrow partly, it will be the range.
i need something fur and something coatly white. it is honeslty so cheap.
i can manage boots for 2000 yen, who would have guessed it honestly!

and i have to drink italian vanilla coffee, send letters and something else.

i was draged to school recently, they adored me there.
i failed the test completely yet got the higher level (how am i to manage
that?) and was completely praised by the interview, i proudly guess. yay.
i am running across the school like a princess, looking down on stupid
stupid little foreigners, it gives something sweet to my pride and image.
that is why i ll be going there somehow cos its a good reason to stop by
109.

カツカレーtoday was indescribably tasty <3

@темы: in all its grandeur, crowned with snow, black and white

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05:55

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be bad, be mine.
but sometimes its an indescribably essential secret,
how the hand which can break you neck, caress your hair.
...

@темы: emerald shadows, embracing the heart

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среда, 05 января 2011
12:09

~lie to yourself, dont lie to me.

be bad, be mine.
a naked body on the black like night sheets.
that was breathtaking, not the mess before.
which i actually didnt even expect from us.
i mean, from the very perfect us.

it took me one hour and a half to downcast my
eyes from the sleeping dragon, otherwise yeah.
i would have left just as soon.

i would have taken picture if not knew,
i would be shortly made head off.

hell, i love you.
...
i dont remember, when from the girl who was sent down
to province to be raised, i became the one who wears
sunglasses in winter and turns the definite someones inside out.

every morning, i walk about our dear Setagaya.
every time, i see these million-cost mansions.
its going through me, and i get i couldnt get less.
because its where i belong.

but if i were asked, why do i need a central mansion.
and so what that theres a tokyo tower across the window.
i dont know how to explain it even to myself at some times.
but when i walked down that streets right in the central Tokyo.
i have the same feeling of belonging, however it seems othering.

i have been avoiding that for long, but jeez i loved there.
every time i cross my eyes with some highest princes across
the car glasses, i recall why i dislike that life in its very grades.
and why i came to live in the sleeping hills in the first place then.
but i love to return sometimes, oh how i love to return in there.

i dont quite know how to express this feeling.
in general, its all about the same. and yet.

@темы: emerald shadows, sapphire sky, dreams, we're dreaming, our morbidly pleasant place

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вторник, 04 января 2011
16:22

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be bad, be mine.
but most likely, i can put it in my list of awards.
when someone, who chose to let go of everything,
gives you a half of his pillow and hand to hold, huh.

must remembered, for sure.

i can make people turn to other sides of their shadows,
i love this gift of mine above others.
...
today was great,
when you can hear the voices from the outside halfheard
from the dream and it feels like the time stopped forever
and you all is warmth, and theres one body instead of two ones.
i know it will last for centuries and yet i am longing for that always.
this is my happiness. this is my crown made of the red wood.

and i tasted the best sushi ever, the best おもち and sweet carry!
and favorite for all the times hot coffee of Georgia, its minblowing.

i love my country, because it makes me feel absorbed.

@темы: emerald shadows, down to amalgamation, aiseru, prince and princess, in all its grandeur

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14:58

~snakes and earrings?

be bad, be mine.
i would love to say that i am good to leave my earrings in the beds
as always, but it would be the greatest lie, i have made to myself.
i wanted to return there, i neglected the pride and wrote back soon.
i just cant explain whats the real reason for me to be coming back.
thats not the lights of the central mansion. thats something more.

even if i want to live in one soon on myself.

theres always a temptation in the same blood for me.
i am sure there should be a way to work it out somehow.
i cant make the player care, i just want to sleep over days
sometimes, crushing phones on the floor and playing bad.

theres something to return there for me, for sure.
probably, its heian. probably, its just about blood.
a bad kid always needs a worse superior, somehow.

in this way or another, theres a lot to learn for me.
if theres a chance, i will take the chance.

@темы: emerald shadows

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понедельник, 03 января 2011
17:41

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be bad, be mine.
some days ago i accidentally made mansion alarm screaming.
it still is and people on the first floor should have already died :(
i am not that sorry cos its funny, but why wont it already stop?
we cant hear it at our place, though.

困った子。でしょ？
i am sorry that you know so much and prefer being lame one.
you know history, you have genji monogatari on your shelves.
how coud the person with that show me his most disgusted side?

i am not the one, who can be used in any way.
those techniques are not working for me ever.
because i was told how to bring the world down.
people do at my please. otherwise i dont need em.
i knew you would not, but yet i came and messed.

it had it price and i had my experience in a check list.

i cant make the player care, i have to become wiser for that.
for now i prefer chocolate cakes instead of lame expectations.
i missed, i admit. but you said you knew the ancient stories.
i never could imagined, you would pass that for a human sins.
that is sadness, not the thing i have done.

but i laughed in the end. for being brought in this terms.
people dont mess with me until i give them the way to it.
i can bring knives to bed. if thought about being offended.

but it will pass, of course.

@темы: crowned with snow, dreams, we're dreaming

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09:39

~dont tell me where i came undone?

be bad, be mine.
the telephone numbers of the ones, i am having fun with
are constantly changing every half a year increasingly.

i am not a good kid, even if i would love to.
but probably its quite nice like this.

i have a home to return to. everything other - passes.

@темы: vampires, dreams, we're dreaming

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08:29

//

be bad, be mine.
くそ、マジでやめたほうがこんなこと。
最低だもんー

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04:32

<3<3<3

be bad, be mine.
if this rythm remains, i will bleed out before the sakura blooms :D
i adore my brother for being so godlike that it even hurts badly :O
how can he sleep 3 hours every day and still able to break me down?
amazing. i mean, the doctors will kill me for sure in the nearest week.

i am making a shop list!

@темы: embracing the heart, prince and princess, in all its grandeur

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04:26

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be bad, be mine.
sometimes tis useless to look for the second thought in my actions.
sometimes tis just i want to get it and i already got it no matter what
stuff. and sometimes - i lose interest after getting only the half of that.
you should be a god (if not family) to make me be interested longer.

and even being one, caring like impossible about my nature.
people like that can get a chance to become my family once.
others share the sharp thoughts about what they have missed.

in this world, i am something which being missed, causes pain.
not just after, times passes, years passes and then it nocks it.
i told so many times, everyone returns to me no matter what.
undone and into pieces, claiming the eternal needness in myself.

thats who i am and that who they are.
i love this world?

@темы: crowned with snow

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04:16

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be bad, be mine.
what i needed was 3 hours extra sleep,
i couldnt get from when i stepped out the plane.
i am back to my wisest and throughseeing self.

people dont tell in (not) my bed, that i am scary.
and that they cant trust me and cant close their eyes.
thats the worsest thing ever and makes me crying.
good sex is made out of meeting halfways.

in my わがまま　case - thousands of three quarters.
but telling that i am scary like hell down my eyes?

yuks\\
its been a while since people have been afraid of me.

i need some relax, meet Naoki and Shimi this week.
organize choco cake meeting with someone and maybe
run down the way to a real mansion, full of ancient books.

today i saw in my dream how we watch circles on the water.
that means we will be doing fine this century while others die.
great.

@темы: those, who obtained the first sunrise, our morbidly pleasant place

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00:31

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be bad, be mine.
yups, done with that for a while.
\\\

everything is great, to think of it.

@темы: emerald shadows

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00:23

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be bad, be mine.
damn it,
instead of being sunk down in disgust i feel sadness.
that water and water again and ever is not working out.

that no one is going to give in being lil better.
shutting it down to accidental as the way out.
but jeez, it was accidental. no matter how you look at that.

i made mistake. i knew i would make it and yet went to.
thats something very human and not at all what i was taught.
i can pass sometimes still instead of thinking before the range.
and what am i doing now?

writing back after leaving the house in the morning?
never.

i have a pride, too.
...
instead of that, i should meet with someone who will
bake me chocolate cake, writing sweet letters and go home.
learn something about this world, go buy some kare and rice,
run towards my little good sister to hold her closely and warm.

not making some dangerous connections.
not letting myself standing below the level, i belong.

ancient stories on the shelves, private residencies -- it will pass.
i should learn the way how to not return there even if called back.
it never worth it in my case. and there is always a price to pay.
maybe one day when i become deeper enough, like Oliver was.

now i hit misses sometimes. and i want definite hits.

@темы: transparent poison

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воскресенье, 02 января 2011
10:31

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be bad, be mine.
i am going home next weekend, though. yay!
`s been one year since i saw my dear parents.
Yoko Yoko <3

@темы: in all its grandeur

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10:28

~something about using and keys on the table.

be bad, be mine.
and i never learned the harsh way of using people for my own pleasure.
i feel disgusted. and so very human, which means there was a fail yup.
i felt those hands around my neck and nope, it wasnt even that scary.
probably i only realized, which being lame in something actually means.
i always give people ten hundred credits ahead. one white knight advanced.

and it never works out.

central mansions, ancient legends on the shelves, unclosed doors down the loft.
it never worth it. because aristocracy doesnt mean those people are the best.
一番と思われる・they are thought to be. but they never knew how to hold it on.
because they are human. and as all of the humans - full of fails and depths.

one step more and i would have felt regret about me being lame as well.
for now i am just one step wise enough to leave the house in the morning.
without saying goodbyes. being wiser not to demand something from those,
who cant hold.

i will be the queen one day.
eating onigiri wth caviar and salmon now for that.

and even if i can return, i know why i wont be returning.
that is why i never needed nominal power in this life.
in reverse, it takes everything that could be for eternity.

fuck *O
i wish my eyes didnt see what i saw today. exactly.

keep learning of bringing this world down, somehow?

@темы: crowned with snow, our morbidly pleasant place

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суббота, 01 января 2011
08:37

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be bad, be mine.
yet, instead of writing now that we are happily celebrating in the central mansion,
i am being home cleaing the house and eating chocolates and drinking good coffee.
despite all the positions, i would loved to break apart the one, who passed out to
sleep when i was waiting outside the station for about 1 hour and waiting for good.
because no one gave me the map how to get to the new mansion of course, argh.
thats a great sin and someone will be paying it off with all the needed tenderness.

even though, i am good to be good at New Year. i forgive those, i love.
thus, the celebration in the central tokyo mansion is tomorrow, 6 am.
at my please.

now, chocolate!

ps. bro bought the keyboard, i can use the net yay :D

@темы: emerald shadows, vampires, aiseru

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